skype first time - ground rules for toddlers?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

OK - there is a new wrinkle.  I thought he was making this up, but it does say in our order that each parent has "phone or computer assisted" access to the children any time, with best efforts not after 9:30.

Therefore, it's actually in the order.  If I want to complain about how he's been acting and change it, it seems I'd have to go to court.

I never even noticed that.  It's such a burden.  Anyone have any ideas on how to respond to him now?  Guess I have to provide it.  But I am going to tell him to clarify a few things.

Gosh, I hate having to go back and forth with him.

[momtara]

OK - there is a new wrinkle.  I thought he was making this up, but it does say in our order that each parent has "phone or computer assisted" access to the children any time, with best efforts not after 9:30.

Therefore, it's actually in the order.  If I want to complain about how he's been acting and change it, it seems I'd have to go to court.

I never even noticed that.  It's such a burden.  Anyone have any ideas on how to respond to him now?  Guess I have to provide it.  But I am going to tell him to clarify a few things.

Gosh, I hate having to go back and forth with him.

[Turkish]

"Or." You don't seem like you're violating the order to me. He has phone access.

[momtara]

Ha.  I never even thought of that.  You are smart!  But I don't know that that'll fly, because the 'or' can favor him too - he can choose which one just like I can... .

[Rubies]

OK - there is a new wrinkle.  I thought he was making this up, but it does say in our order that each parent has "phone or computer assisted" access to the children any time, with best efforts not after 9:30.

Therefore, it's actually in the order.  If I want to complain about how he's been acting and change it, it seems I'd have to go to court.

I never even noticed that.  It's such a burden.  Anyone have any ideas on how to respond to him now?  Guess I have to provide it.  But I am going to tell him to clarify a few things.

Gosh, I hate having to go back and forth with him.

How does this translate to his constant contact with YOU occupying YOUR time ALL the time?  How does ANY time equal ALL the time where it interferes with YOUR life? 

If he calls or texts hand the phone to the kids to do as they will?  The relationship is theirs, not yours.

Perhaps you need to talk with your attorney and his attorney and avoid BPDxh altogether before taking it before the judge?  Frankly we're not available to anyone for  "anytime" intrusions.

Nip it in the bud, nip it in the bud!

[livednlearned]

If your ex made a big deal about this in court, he would look like a high-conflict parent.

The whole point of the communication thing is to show that parents are making best efforts to maintain a healthy, supportive relationship with the other parent. You can do that with the phone. There are a lot of reasonable things you can say to the judge to explain why Facetime and Skype weren't optimal.

You get to call the shots on this one. If you tell him, "I prefer phone because I want to maintain some privacy," that's entirely reasonable. Just because your ex is trying to make this a big deal doesn't mean it's a big deal.

Hold the boundary at the maximum amount of privacy you can possibly get. And if you feel it's appropriate, maybe use this as an opportunity to point out some of his odd behaviors. "There are times when the girls are on the phone and you don't talk, maybe we can focus on some good communication parameters for those calls first and talk about this other technology once we get the phone conversations to a better place."