My uBPDbf and I had a large blow-up about 2weeks ago. In the end the overall outcome has led to some improvements and changes. Although I can't understand the constant negativity about everything. (That I am working on ignoring/avoiding.) So since the blow-up my uBPDbf has asked to do some more things together, but when I am not able (usually due to my d9's schedule conflicting), he becomes difficult. And the "poor me" attitude engulfs him.
My question... .There is a "possible" (not confirmed or even true) activity scheduled in a couple weeks. The mentioned event is a 7hr trip away and it is on a weekend when my d9 is home with me. I don't want to go to this event, because I don't want to spend an entire weekend away when my d9 is home (she goes to her dad's every other weekend.) How do I tell my uBPDbf that I don't want to go? I know that when I do it will be ALL DRAMA!
Part of the problem for us Nons is that we are still too damn available all the time. When you are available all the time, you are at risk of being assume to do something, in this case on this trip. It would help you a lot to make a lot of plans by hitting up all your friends so that you have other activities. Part of the goal of the BPD is to isolate you. They do that so that you are available all the time. I went out Tuesday night and I'm going out tonight, and then this entire weekend we'll be camping with kids. I'm simply not accessible like I used to be. If you get social again a lot of that goes away.
