Ok. Thank you for reading.
It has been long enough. I should move on but I can't get my mind to erase him. He was absolutely charming, smart, and really knew how to read me in a short amount of time. He is the perfect predator.I feel he knew he would eventually leave me when mr. Hyde peaked. I think he knew. He sweeped me off my feet. After 5 months, he wisked me away on a vacation. But problem started at the airport. Entire trip, he shut down and would not communicate but continued to be attentive and civil With the occasional dirty looks or nasty comments... .was a horrible feeling for me. Here I was looking forward to an amazing trip and he has mentally checked out... came back and broke up via text and said he will deliver my things and to stay away... .then I asked what is going on and he just said he is wants to be alone and he is a loner. Total personality change. face changed.Then told me he was sorry to break up because he knows I care and he doesn't want a relationship. He kept all my stuff and said he'd bring it back to my apt someday. A month later I asked for my stuff. He created a fake argument and started a fight and got delusional, made up some stories that he does not like me and i lied (total fabrication in his mind)
And basically created some things in its head about me he dislikes as an excuse to blame me. It's so not him. He is amazing, kind and allllllways thinking about other people and helping anyone... .How did he flip personalities. He said he was a loner and I'm bothering him and not to contact him. its awful because the day before the trip we were having a great day and we're waiting all month to go away. I can't recover from him at all. How did others manage to deal with BPD loved ones that changed and shut themselves away. He has hidden himself. I'm locked out forever.
Hi Blue,
it sounds like part of my own story.
Maybe the gentle version of him will come back. But I really hope you can be aware of it! I was weak. All my friends who knew the story forbid me to even talk to him. But finally I accepted him again, the pain for the first time was at once released. Nevertheless, this kind of thing will repeat. Every time you will feel more pain.
After the 1. break-up, I cried for 5 days. After the 2. one, I was deeply depressed for a whole month, could not eat , could not sleep long, had headache, stomache, and even now in the 2. month, I am better but not totally OK.
I was usually not a weak person and I did have some kind of psychological training in my university , but I cannot handle it, although I want to help to heal him and get the man I loved back.
