Go on or move on

[Musti]

It is 2 month now since the sudden unexpected happen. I spent 1 and half month suffering the separation tried to find a reason for it after the depression, sadness and sleepless night i couldn't find a reason all I faced was arguing, hate and rejection   I decided to visit my psychologist I feel better now trying. I was not familiar with BPD and I am not sure if my ex is a BPD. My psychologist waved to me the last session that it could be a reason and when I started to read it is all matches nothing is missing from the description of BPD but as I said I can't judge that. My doctor advice that I ask her if she may pay a visit but she refused and said she is okay she is doesn't have problems.

I do not what else to do my ex have here own 3 kids and I love and miss them so much but I am not allowed to have contact anymore that what it makes it harder on me.

My psychologist opinion only one of tow choices I should move on as if she is BPD it is a lot of effort and work and maybe I wouldn't be able to get her back and the second way that if I have the patience and the atm to have a BPD girlfriend that I have to expect not easy future life.

I do love her so much I would do everything to be back to her I would rather the second choice but the thing is I don't know how to start on gaining her back.

I am not that young I am in my 40th I can understand separation or break up experienced it before but I really love she that much that make me so confused at the moment.

Sometimes I wish I did kew about BPD earlier I would have avoided and it would have changed a lot of things but It is too late to wish that now.

[Panda39]

Hi Musti,

Welcome to the BPD Family    I'm so glad you've found us.

I'm sorry you are struggling with the breakup with your ex and missing her children too.  I'm sure this break up has changed your life dramatically and it sounds like you are struggling to adjust.  It was a good move to speak with your psychologist about the depression you've been feeling.

It sounds like you are weighing whether to get back together with your ex or not.  None of us can make that decision for you.  However, I would suggest that before you decide you learn more about what BPD is since this is new information to you (read everything you can get your hands on) and also read posts here so you understand what living with someone with BPD looks like.

You can start by taking a looking at the links to the right... .in particular "What is Borderline Personality Disorder?" and "Suggested Reading".

If you and your ex do agree to get back together we most certainly can offer tools that can help you and support.

Wishing you well

Panda39