ever see them starting to crack?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

my fwBPD who I work with but have cut off any contact with unless it is a must and that's rare and my answers are a little as possible acknowledgment has ignored me back for 2 months but 2 days ago she gave me a hello I gave a  no emotion hi back kept going  and today she bumped  into me from behind  no excuse me no words but in a large walkway easy to avoid I ignored it,  and every person I was talking to the moment I left she would swoop in with giggles and stories like a child saying " you have to like me more" she use to avoid me right back but walking into my area is not being avoided ... .I overheard our mutual friend say she was talking to(recycling) her long time boyfriend so I don't know why my supply would be on the radar ... .i didn't know about BPD until here and now know ive been with to many and this is the first i rejected opting to be "friends" that didn't work either haha but is this how they try to get attention in the less then romantic relationship ?

[ghoststory]

my fwBPD who I work with but have cut off any contact with unless it is a must and that's rare and my answers are a little as possible acknowledgment has ignored me back for 2 months but 2 days ago she gave me a hello I gave a  no emotion hi back kept going  and today she bumped  into me from behind  no excuse me no words but in a large walkway easy to avoid I ignored it,  and every person I was talking to the moment I left she would swoop in with giggles and stories like a child saying " you have to like me more" she use to avoid me right back but walking into my area is not being avoided ... .I overheard our mutual friend say she was talking to(recycling) her long time boyfriend so I don't know why my supply would be on the radar ... .i didn't know about BPD until here and now know ive been with to many and this is the first i rejected opting to be "friends" that didn't work either haha but is this how they try to get attention in the less then romantic relationship ?

[Infern0]

Certainly.

After our first break up and during no contact she used to find excuses to contact me or walk past my work and look in etc etc.  They were always indirect attempts but it was obvious what she was doing.  Then she cracked completely and started hammering me until I talked to her

[ghoststory]

thank you for your reply inferno I just read when you cut them off they flip flop in between hating you and longing for you don't know if that is sound but hoping the hating me part becomes permanent soon haha

[Infared]

I find that it is all about THEIR immediate need. My ex ran off with new supply and moved in with him immediately and over a year later she is doing a quadruple drive-by when I am out putting my MTB a on the car... .and then she just drives up and parks behind my car and tries to get out and convince me "will you go for a walk with me,  it won't change anything" (her disclaimer so that she isn't doing anything to dis the guy she now lives with)... .so it turns out that the guy is away for the weekend and now that I know about BPD, I think that she could not be alone for 5 mins... .She is in full-on fear of abandonment... .and with no awareness or consideration as to how much her actions may hurt me, she just thinks she can roll in on a random Sunday morning and take as much of my time as she wants to satisfy her needs?   Afterall, I was always her best friend, why wouldn't I be the same old infared I always was. There was no awareness of the excruciating emotional pain her actions had caused me. The lies and the cheating and no admission of any of that (Extremely childish)... .this is also the first time since running off with new supply that she is not being cruel to me.

I said "Let me get this straight: You want me to take a walk with you, talk to you, get close to you and want to be with you, and then you are going to go home and sleep with blank and I am going to go home alone? Absolutely not. I would not be being a very good friend to myself if I did that, now would I?"  I was in T and my T said that I needed to take care of me. I had no idea that my ex had BPD, I did not know what it was back then... .but I watched her crumble, right in front of me... .it was actually physical... she like hunched over and sighed and played victim (yeah, right!). It was just because she had lost one of her "options" for her day alone. She got in her car and drove off. It was an extremely painful day for me... .I missed her something terrible, but those terms were just soo selfish. Thank God I was on my toes and able to protect myself from even more damage. I was dumbfounded by this and many of her behaviors until I found out what BPD was. Then everything fell into place. I am still so sad about it all. I really, really cared about this person... .

[ghoststory]

yes infared I do know the hurt it's hard to accept they don't understand we care and get punished for doing so I'm glad you were strong and proved to her you have self respect left ... .no's and no contact are the only thing that gets a point across to them as I have experienced

[Infared]

yes infared I do know the hurt it's hard to accept they don't understand we care and get punished for doing so I'm glad you were strong and proved to her you have self respect left ... .no's and no contact are the only thing that gets a point across to them as I have experienced

Thanks for identifying. That day I set a hardcore boundary.The last thing in the world that I ever wanted was to find myself having to protect myself from a person that "I" had felt a very deep connection with.  It's sad to find out that you were the only one that developed that connection. 

[ghoststory]

damn straight in the outside world I'd buy ya a drink ... .cheers