I have been frantically calling around to find a lawyer to handle this for me because I realized that I cant do it all on my own anymore.
I think this is really important newlifeBPDfree. We would not try to single-handedly put out a fire that is burning down our house. Maybe for a few minutes until the experts arrived... .but very few of us have the time or focused state of mind to learn the legal system, much less represent ourselves during a highly emotional time.
When you have an L involved, you let someone else who is less emotionally invested share the burden. A good L might not be able to stop your ex from doing what he is doing, but he or she will be able to set things up so that there is a strategy and a methodical way to deal with things in court if it comes to that. Your ex may also see your L as a higher authority. Or, like in my case, your ex might start to target your L instead. I learned from my L about how to deal with bullies by watching how she dealt with N/BPDx.
The other piece to this is psycho emotional. It's learning how to manage your emotions so that you don't have a nervous breakdown. So you let the L deal with the legal stuff, and you deal with your emotional challenges. That's the first step to taking care of yourself.