Stunned and scratching my head

[wavelife]

I am not sure what just happened... .I am trying to process.

I was just watching a you tube video about the quiet BPD type.

It was a bunch of photos with script overtop and music in the background.  Toward the end is a picture of my wife.  She showed me that picture 6 years ago when we first met.  It is a beautiful photo but does not show her face.  I will never forget it.

How did it get on this video?  I am in total shock right now. Trying to figure it out.  I almost want to send her the link... .However the BPD theme may set her off.

[fromheeltoheal]

That's bizarre wave, and I can understand how it would be shocking to see.  Was your wife officially diagnosed with the disorder?  If she was in therapy and agreed to participate in a educational video the makers could have asked for a photo.  Beyond that, the probability of a pic showing up randomly in an unrelated video is very, very slim.

[wavelife]

She was diagnosed but not told about the diagnosis. I found this out from one of her ex husbands.  It's possible and I am sure there are many things she has not told me.  We have never discussed BPD and she would not think I know anything about it.  Really bizarre!  I wonder if it's an opportunity to share something that may help her? 

[fromheeltoheal]

I wonder if it's an opportunity to share something that may help her? 

In general, no.  It would be very difficult to hear you have a mental illness, for anyone, and it wouldn't help coming from you anyway, since you broke up and you are no longer the soother, you're the trigger.  Better to look at your motivations for trying to help her, I understand the impulse, although in the context of a failed relationship it's really no longer any of your business.  Going from a sliver of hope to no hope at all is a huge leap, one we all take eventually; what's the main reason you want to help her?

[wavelife]

Ha, you are right... .motivation... .more of that night in shining armour bs. Good grief, right?  Let it and her go already.  Picture just rattled me and got the wheel spinning way too fast!  Deep breath