The BPD 'Fairy Tale'

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

I am laughing... .with you NOT at you. I agree with Deeno02 ... .its a horror story. I had no idea BPD existed a year ago... .I hate horror stories and I certainly don't want to live my own version!  I am going to stick with Sir David Attenborough!

Good luck, I KNOW how you feel. I think I am still reeling in shock as to what has happened to me, its BEYOND a movie script... .I am disgusted with my own inadequacies and honesty that I fell for all this and I am still not out of it due to my own weakness.

My first reply so feel special 

[Fromsainttosinner]

I am laughing... .with you NOT at you. I agree with Deeno02 ... .its a horror story. I had no idea BPD existed a year ago... .I hate horror stories and I certainly don't want to live my own version!  I am going to stick with Sir David Attenborough!

Good luck, I KNOW how you feel. I think I am still reeling in shock as to what has happened to me, its BEYOND a movie script... .I am disgusted with my own inadequacies and honesty that I fell for all this and I am still not out of it due to my own weakness.

My first reply so feel special 

[Arcturus81]

The only fairy tale that applies to BPD's is "The Scorpion and The Frog" by Aesop's fables. That one really hit home for me.

I heard all of those sweet lies that she told and believed every story she told me. My eyes are open now and I have realized that she was the monster in her stories all along.

Just remember that there are other books and that some stories do have a happy ending.

[Trog]

It's like a Broadway show - long running, starring the BPD, with a perpetually revolving cast of supporting characters.

Bingo

And the same sad musical refrain repeating through the show as the lead character never learns anything from her experiences.

Mine is more like a pantomime where everyone watching was shouting 'she's behind you' and I am Buttons, utterly naive!

[Mel1968]

Thank you everyone for this thread!

I've not posted for a short while because life got pretty bleak for me and I couldn't quite bear to interact with anyone, but this has made me smile a lot, in wry recognition.

[Heldfast]

What was interesting for me is she left me for the monster, her first ex boyfriend. She hated and hated and hated him until the day they reconnected at a friend's wedding. Then he'd changed so much and was so awesome, "her hero, her knight, her newfound best friend." (Yes, those are her actual words in an email to our friends who she accused of telling her how to live her life). So the former knight became her new monster and her old monster became her new knight. And she was just saying what a great mom she had online for mother's day, she also told me that now she hated me every bit as much as her mother, who was previously the most hated person in her life. Fake, Phony, Loevcraftian monster.

[SWLSR]

Mutt

To me the hardest thing was the feeling that love did not exist.  It made me never want to love or be loved again.  It was the darkest place I have ever been.  I felt it was worse than death itself.

[Infared]

My Fractured Fairy Tale went more like this:

Distressed Princess  needs to be rescued from evil monster (current boyfriend)

Enter White Knight (me) who rescues her and we ride off into sunset... .

Then Princess slowly recognizes me as evil monster (without telling me)

Unbeknownst to me, new White Knight arrives and saves her from evil monster (me?)

New White Knight rides off with distressed Princess (who tells me there is no other, that she just must go out on her own to find herself).

Repeat as necessary.

[Fromsainttosinner]

God, I need you army of saints to take me away! Feel like it should be me that is sectioned for accepting this utter disgusting mistreatment on a daily basis. I am a grown woman. I have amazing friends. I am middle class with a good job. I could just say NO MORE. My friends are at a loss as to why I stay, I cant figure it out myself. I had everything I needed in life ( except my perfect romantic partner obviously) before he crashed into my world. Its soo hard! Somebody please come and kidnap me now! I am really questioning myself as to my lack that I think abuse is ok for me? I wouldn't want this for anyone I loved. Why do I allow myself to be in such a warped relationship. Its breaking me.

[FannyB]

Hi. I would guess you're addicted to him and the thought of him out of your life permanently is as terrifying as staying with him to you.   It's not easy, but the answers lie on these boards. If you can't make the break, then look for survival tips on the staying board. I'm sure there's plenty of good guys out there that would ride to your rescue - but as a precursor you've gotta want to be saved. He certainly doesn't sound worth the crap he's making you endure on a daily basis. 

[Achaya]

The only fairy tale that applies to BPD's is "The Scorpion and The Frog" by Aesop's fables. That one really hit home for me.

LOL! This is so spot on! Maybe Aesop had a relationship with a pwBPD?

[dobie]

My helltale goes like this

Emotionally unavailable man meets damsel in need of rescue who chases and  idealises him , the dashing prince feels good as he does not have to be emotionally intimate while receiving what he desperately wants love and total admiration .  time wears on and the prince starts to take off his armour and falls for the broken princess and tries to recapture her trust and devotion , the princess soon starts to turn into a wicked witch as her spell has worn thin  and after putting Hercules through his trails of fire dumps him for her new witch sisters despises our hero and blames him for being an evil ogre who failed to keep or make her happy 24/7 365

[workinprogress]

She would idealize and devaluate and the periods of either changed.

Idealization periods grew shorter and the devaluation phases grew longer.

What I found painful was the moment I was split black and since that moment.

The person I knew for nearly eight years disappeared.

I felt like I lost my wife.

For two years I don't recognize her and can't talk to her, even for a short idealization period.

Mutt, I feel the same way.  I feel like I lost my wife.  She vanished and turned into someone I didn't even know.  It is truly heartbreaking for me.

[workinprogress]

I tend to think of the song of the Sirens.  I was lured in by her sweet music and found myself crashed against the rocks on the shore.

[cj488]

I believe shame has something to do with the fall of the fairy tale. I went through it too. The seduction and idealization, the distancing and devaluing, and finally the torture and demonization - from the best to the worst experience in my life all in just two months. In retrospect, I felt shame had something to do with it. Once her (my exBPDgf) childhood parental abandonment and childhood sexual abuse was revealed through our arguments and discussions, her great shame was known to me, and could never be un-known by me from then on. She had to leave or live with her shame. Of course, once I understood the roots of her issues I was willing to work through it, but she immediately bolted and was with another guy within a week (which she flaunted at me). I was devastated beyond belief, and am still recovering now after 8 months.