I did it...

[getting_better]

Took about a month to work through the divorce petition.  I filed it on Monday and sent my stbx dBPDw the petition via certified mail.  She got the "sorry you weren't home" notification from the Post Office today and texted me.  I let her know that it was indeed the divorce petition. 

Her response?  "You're a monster".

No way she'll go to the PO to pick it up, so I'll have to engage a process server.  I guess I should have done that in the first place. 

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.  I know there are many tough moments ahead, but today I feel good.  I long for the days of no more suffering, no more fear, and no more feeling like I'm a piece of crap.

[ForeverDad]

It took me about a month too to get through all the forms and docs, half a dozen I think.  Then I got a divorce lawyer and he put together a 2-3 page filing and filed.  Oh well.

Your children are more likely to ask, "Why didn't you do this before?" than "Why did you do this?"  If their heads are even halfway screwed on straight, they will understand the need to do what had to be done.

Her past threats of suicide is something to be left to the professionals.  You don't have to figure out whether it was from internal distress or controlling, guilting, manipulative threats.  (But in most of our experiences here they have been acting-out control attempts.)

[maxen]

No way she'll go to the PO to pick it up, so I'll have to engage a process server.  I guess I should have done that in the first place. 

i think you did right, it's better when dealing with high-conflict types to go by steps lest there be an even bigger explosion (at least that was my L's opinion).

will they try two more deliveries?