Mothers Day and the BPD mom

[Spruce927]

My uBPD mother and I have been no contact for months now. 

My dad (parents are divorced) has just gotten an email from my mom that read like this

"I will never forgive you for turning my two daughters against me (my sister has not spoken to her in 3 years.)  It is going to be mothers day.  I was a mother.  You were whatever.  The truth will come out just like it did about our marriage."

Even with all the knowledge I've gained about BPD, and support, I am still so angry when I read the line about my dad "turning" us against her.  The funny part is that my dad never said anything bad about my mom but during the divorce she was full or rage towards him.  I guess what bothers me the most is that nothing is EVER her fault.  It's always someone else doing something to her and she's a victim.  I know that's what she's telling her friends about why I too have cut her out of my life. 

This Mother's Day is the first where NEITHER of her children will be in contact with her.  I wonder if you guys think she'll have any self reflection.  I know that it's wishful thinking but in the back of my mind I hope that she could see what she's caused.  I just know she'll make it about her and that we're terrible people for not acknowledging her on "her" day. 

The odd thing is, I don't even want to send her a message because I am still so angry from what she has put me through emotionally.  I cannot begin to tell you how difficult it would be to wish her a good mother's day when I feel like she's a terrible mother.  I do expect her to write me some sort of pity party email though. 

How do you guys with a BPD mother deal with Mother's Day?

[nursedaughter]

I don't think she will self-reflect at all... .that might cause her to feel shame and then all hell breaks loose!  Good for you, and be strong!  When the pitiful email arrives, PLEASE for your own sake delete it before you read it!  Reading it will only punish you and that's the last thing you or any of us needs.  Hang in there, friend.

[Lavandula]

When things were at their worst with my uBPD mom I did nothing one Mother's Day for her, I'm not exactly sure how many years ago it was. I honestly don't really remember how she reacted. This was during the worst of my experiences with her illness. Now that things have cooled down and things are somewhat "better" I do get her gifts and take her out for a meal. I do it because she is the woman that raised me and for the good things she has done for me. Even though she has been on a mean streak lately, I will do the same this year.

The way she used to read cards from my brother, sister, and I was so strange. As if she didn't believe the heartfelt words in them, or maybe it was just mine  .

I honestly don't think she will self reflect, or if she does she probably won't admit to it, but that is just my experience with my mom.