Hi

[Discovered]

Hello everyone. Just want to say I'm thankful to find this site. It's a relief to have a name for what has caused so much confusion.  I finally began researching illness caused by. Childhood trauma... and though I knew my partner over the last 15 years had a rough unstable childhood I never accepted that her violence short temper high irritability and criticisms came from symptoms of BPD. I reacted to the outbursts and mood swings without realizing she might not be in control of hersrlf. I loved her so much and her constantly critical demeanor kept me pressing to do better a long time. I have given up becausw i dont wante her behavior explosive temper and violence exposed to our children. I don't want them to be a part of the cycle. I can't speak to anyone about the abuse so this forum is very valuable to me. Thanks for listening

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[hellosun]

Hey Discovered,

Welcome here!   I'm glad you found this site. It was a relief to me, as well.

Are you and your children currently safe from her physical abuse?

[EaglesJuju]

Hi Discovered, 



We are glad that you found us.

Boundaries become crossed when dealing with abusive and violent behavior. I am sorry that you have endured violence. Hellosun makes a valid point about safety. It is important to be cognizant of your own and children's safety. Do you have a safety plan incase she becomes violent again?

Learning about BPD behavior can seem like a missing link to the puzzle of years of confusing behavior. There is a lot of research suggesting that childhood trauma can be a risk factor for developing BPD. As you mentioned, high irritability, outbursts, and mood swings are common characteristics of BPD.

Don't be hard on yourself. I did not understand or know about BPD behavior myself and I constantly reacted to my person with BPD's (pwBPD) thinking that he could control himself too. The behavior can be so confusing at times.

Sharing your story with people who have gone through similar situations really helps. Many times I felt that I could not tell my family or friends about my pwBPD's behavior, because they did not experience it or could not understand. Perhaps you could share more of your story?

Looking forward to reading your response.