what imprints did you leave?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

So my ex gf used to always complain because I slept with the fan on. I lived in our apartment for two weeks after we broke up. Some of the time I would sleep at my parents and I took the fan.

The next night id come back I noticed the ex had a box fan next to the bed. I asked her about it because she always complained about it. She said she needed the noise and made her think of me. I thought it interesting.

What imprints did you leave behind on your ex

[confusedinWI]

So my ex gf used to always complain because I slept with the fan on. I lived in our apartment for two weeks after we broke up. Some of the time I would sleep at my parents and I took the fan.

The next night id come back I noticed the ex had a box fan next to the bed. I asked her about it because she always complained about it. She said she needed the noise and made her think of me. I thought it interesting.

What imprints did you leave behind on your ex

[Irish Pride]

So my ex gf used to always complain because I slept with the fan on. I lived in our apartment for two weeks after we broke up. Some of the time I would sleep at my parents and I took the fan.

The next night id come back I noticed the ex had a box fan next to the bed. I asked her about it because she always complained about it. She said she needed the noise and made her think of me. I thought it interesting.

What imprints did you leave behind on your ex

Intervention 

It doesn't matter what imprints we left behind. There's no solace in it, IMO. The relationship is OVER. It's DONE. Let them live their life on their own terms. IMO, you're fixating on what the ex thinks of you. It doesn't matter, anymore. I can relate so bad, it almost hurts. What legacy did I leave behind? Did she learn anything from me? From our relationship? Point blank, it simply doesn't matter. I don't mean to be so blunt, but it's my opinion. Maybe she did, maybe she didn't. Right now, it's all about YOU. Fixing YOU. Helping YOU. Taking care of YOU. You've done your part, tried the best you can. It's time to leave her to her own devices and concentrate on your own. Fixate on YOU and leave the rest in the dust. Ruminating on what you "left behind", IMO, is a road to nowhere. We don't think like they do, so we cannot conceive ANYTHING in their thought process.

I truly don't mean to be so blunt, but this is how I feel about this. All the best!

[cosmonaut]

I helped her out with some very serious medical problems - most especially financially assuming the costs.  I don't regret that at all.  I think that's one positive impression I left.

I also tried very hard to help her with her substance abuse, depression, PTSD, and eating disorder.  I had somewhat limited success, but perhaps it made an impression.  I'd like to think it helped.  I've heard that she's been in therapy, which in itself is a monumental step for her.  That gives me hope and happiness.  I want her to be well - I always have.

[Bassoutcast]

Helped her beat anorexia, patched things up with her family (which in retrospect she's been triangulating me with, so as long as I'm a devil in her eyes, like now, they're doing great), got her motivated to go back and get her high-school diploma finally (she didn't pass math), encouraged her to pursue her life-long dream of studying (then teaching) art, and most importantly - taught her how to love, how to kiss, basically what a relationship is... .and she taught me that as well, which is why I'm so terrified of finding someone new, "normal" - I have no idea how relationships are outside of this one b/c she was my only one... .I'm often very lonely, find myself craving affection, someone to cuddle with and share my day... .plus, I'm picky as hell... .

[zundertowz]

Helped and encouraged her to start a business which basically supports her 2 children... .when I met her she couldnt support herself or her children.  Its amazing to me that this is glossed over and she could still try and ruin my life... .ugh this is the worst thread ever