Farewell

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

I think I'm done here. 

I've really appreciated what this place has done for me and the service it provides.  I am at a place though where the concepts I would have to explore are not really discussed here and I have spent a lot of time in my life doing extensive volunteer work but never really completey focused on pursuing  this stuff.  I have always been sidetracked by some cause or a relationship.  I have only met a few people in my life personally that even really understand this stuff.  I suppose there was a couple other times in my life I had made a lot of the realizations I have now but I forgot them.  There is one person that I showed and he began to see he said he went to university and professors were teaching about it with different jargon and theycall it structuralism and post structuralism.  He said the university professors would give a long lecture explaining it to over a hundred people at a time and in the end maybe he alone or 1 and 2 other people would give a standing ovation.

When I moved away I guess he got extremely lonely because I was the only person he knew that could understand this stuff and he got pretty jaded on society. He is much smarter than me in a sort of brain crunching sense but I just sort of naturally pull these ideas out of my life experience. He got really upset because I suppose he needed me to be able to become a film director screen writer team and I was off chasing relationships and environmental causes. Sometimes I almost feel bad I showed him because well he wishes he took the proverbial blue pill.

When I was in the environmental world I really only met 2 people that really get this stuff. One of them just went on to be a lifelong activist and he let go of trying to actually explain it to anyone.  The other is like the opposite and she deconstructs cultural trends where the ideas came from how they are developing within subcultures and how to implement those ideas into society. She works probably 100+ hours a week because well she is trying to save the world. She's pretty much a genius iq level wise.

I think awareness of this stuff causes a loneliness in people without doing a lot of deep inner work.

I suppose I'll just work on the theory for a while then encoding it into mediums.

If I stick around here and actively persue it I think it will mainly upset people because well I think people would rather Not have their reality deconstructed and wander through the desert of the real.

Best of luck on your healing journeys and read Lacan!

[Blimblam]

I think I'm done here. 

I've really appreciated what this place has done for me and the service it provides.  I am at a place though where the concepts I would have to explore are not really discussed here and I have spent a lot of time in my life doing extensive volunteer work but never really completey focused on pursuing  this stuff.  I have always been sidetracked by some cause or a relationship.  I have only met a few people in my life personally that even really understand this stuff.  I suppose there was a couple other times in my life I had made a lot of the realizations I have now but I forgot them.  There is one person that I showed and he began to see he said he went to university and professors were teaching about it with different jargon and theycall it structuralism and post structuralism.  He said the university professors would give a long lecture explaining it to over a hundred people at a time and in the end maybe he alone or 1 and 2 other people would give a standing ovation.

When I moved away I guess he got extremely lonely because I was the only person he knew that could understand this stuff and he got pretty jaded on society. He is much smarter than me in a sort of brain crunching sense but I just sort of naturally pull these ideas out of my life experience. He got really upset because I suppose he needed me to be able to become a film director screen writer team and I was off chasing relationships and environmental causes. Sometimes I almost feel bad I showed him because well he wishes he took the proverbial blue pill.

When I was in the environmental world I really only met 2 people that really get this stuff. One of them just went on to be a lifelong activist and he let go of trying to actually explain it to anyone.  The other is like the opposite and she deconstructs cultural trends where the ideas came from how they are developing within subcultures and how to implement those ideas into society. She works probably 100+ hours a week because well she is trying to save the world. She's pretty much a genius iq level wise.

I think awareness of this stuff causes a loneliness in people without doing a lot of deep inner work.

I suppose I'll just work on the theory for a while then encoding it into mediums.

If I stick around here and actively persue it I think it will mainly upset people because well I think people would rather Not have their reality deconstructed and wander through the desert of the real.

Best of luck on your healing journeys and read Lacan!

[vortex of confusion]

Your inbox is full! 

Having ones reality deconstructed is not for the faint of heart! I would love to hear more about this stuff.

[Blimblam]

   

Re: Lacans "big other"

« Reply #10 on: Today at 02:28:45 AM »

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It's like when we originally developed a sense of I we lost the original connection with our mother and ourself a a whole and that space we felt connected us to our mother as a whole left a feeling of alienation like a hole or lack and a scar. Kind of like a belly button but a psychological one and we are left trying to plug our psychological umbilical cord into something external to feel whole again and that's what desire is.  But that part of us is still within us that we have dissociated from and that space we have dissociated from also contains all of the emotions that we dissaciated from our entire lives.  So when we look into that abyss we feel those dissacociated painfull emotions looking back at us and that's why we seek something external to cover that space to look back at us with a loving gaze.  All those emotions in that abyss attach to external signifiers and attachments as a way to acess them to be resolved. Once we let go of those painfull parts of ourself we can look into the abyss and rediscover our mothers loving gaze was always there.

Where once was our mothers gaze we saw ourself in the mirror the way our mother saw us and as an other an ideal version of ourself the way our mother saw us.   But this ideal image of us became projected onto our fathers so we seeked to understand the rules and guidelines of our father to know how to become that idealized version of ourself the one who is whole and complete. then that image shifted from our father to the big other with rules and guidelines that make up the coordinates and waypoints for our reality. 

To reconnect simply focus on the physical sensations of your emotions especially when triggered.  Doing something like. 10 day vipassana meditation then going into isolation for a couple months meditating all day everyday is probably the easiest way.  The things we look to sort of look back into us, screens other people anything we project on and it is that gaze looking back at us we use to validate our reality but the gaze we are looking for is the one in the abyss.

[vortex of confusion]

Once we let go of those painfull parts of ourself we can look into the abyss and rediscover our mothers loving gaze was always there.

Do we let go of the pain or do we let go of the actual parts of ourselves?

[Blimblam]

Once we let go of those painfull parts of ourself we can look into the abyss and rediscover our mothers loving gaze was always there.

Do we let go of the pain or do we let go of the actual parts of ourselves?

There will be micro tensions where you feel attachment in your body just relax through them by directing your focus and breath there.

[Blimblam]

Don't force it just feel the uncomfortable bodily sensations. Just feel it. Feel your feelings. 

[Blimblam]

I try to find something that triggers strong emotions in me like a song or whatever then just lay there with my eyes closed and focus on the bodily sensations.

Or sometimes when I wake up I focus on te bodily sensations as I fall back asleep. 

[Blimblam]

Singing along to songs that trigger strong emotions is especially powerful as well.

[Infern0]

I've always found your insights very deep and interesting and you've come a long way.

I understand what you are saying about this environment not being fully conductive to 100% healing.

I think there is still a lot of work to be done,  hopefully you'll check in now and then to compare notes.

[vortex of confusion]

Singing along to songs that trigger strong emotions is especially powerful as well.

I find music to be very therapeutic, especially the stuff that triggers me. When I drive to and from work, I choose to listen to music that will hit me just so. That seems to be the only time I actually let myself cry and feel things.

[Blimblam]

I've always found your insights very deep and interesting and you've come a long way.

I understand what you are saying about this environment not being fully conductive to 100% healing.

I think there is still a lot of work to be done,  hopefully you'll check in now and then to compare notes.

It really has nothing to do with it not being conducive to healing.  The space is what we make it.  It has to do with me and the direction im going is deeply conceptual and difficult to communicate.  Also if I do apply the concepts themselves they deconstruct people's reality and may seem hostile. For example to use the framework in one of my above posts the "femenists," of the manosphere are merely ones own repressed dissacosiated painful emotion projected onto the female image if it does not look at one they way one would like to see themself as implying a dependency on external females as their source of identity and the idea of themaelf as an alpha male a delusion to hide from their own pain.  Pain that has to do possibly with feeling engulfed by a female figure such as ones own mother, a common Hitchcock theme.

But thank you inferno and I hope you find the inner peace you are seeking.  I highly recomend you read Lacan once his concepts are understood the pick up artist alpha male world will be seen as an illusion.  All it really does is shift the object of desire from women to a narcissitic self image as a way to attract women to validate the false self image as ones identity.

[Infern0]

I've always found your insights very deep and interesting and you've come a long way.

I understand what you are saying about this environment not being fully conductive to 100% healing.

I think there is still a lot of work to be done,  hopefully you'll check in now and then to compare notes.

It really has nothing to do with it not being conducive to healing.  The space is what we make it.  It has to do with me and the direction im going is deeply conceptual and difficult to communicate.  Also if I do apply the concepts themselves they deconstruct people's reality and may seem hostile. For example to use the framework in one of my above posts the "femenists," of the manosphere are merely ones own repressed dissacosiated painful emotion projected onto the female image if it does not look at one they way one would like to see themself as implying a dependency on external females as their source of identity and the idea of themaelf as an alpha male a delusion to hide from their own pain.  Pain that has to do possibly with feeling engulfed by a female figure such as ones own mother, a common Hitchcock theme.

But thank you inferno and I hope you find the inner peace you are seeking.  I highly recomend you read Lacan once his concepts are understood the pick up artist alpha male world will be seen as an illusion.  All it really does is shift the object of desire from women to a narcissitic self image as a way to attract women to validate the false self image as ones identity.

Your way of looking at things and mine differ,  but I think there's room for both.

I am at the stage where I'm glad for the journey and the lessons, I have a passion for it and I want to understand it fully so that I can help other people who have been through the same. I do think I can learn from your knowledge.

In helping people to recover from emotional abuse and start being the person they are meant to be,  I also belive there may be something in there to help borderlines themselves.  The current clinical approach does not work. 

[Blimblam]

Singing along to songs that trigger strong emotions is especially powerful as well.

I find music to be very therapeutic, especially the stuff that triggers me. When I drive to and from work, I choose to listen to music that will hit me just so. That seems to be the only time I actually let myself cry and feel things.

Crying is a very powerfull release the act of vocalizing while crying is incredibly powerful as we tend to choke up our feelings while we cry.

[Blimblam]

I've always found your insights very deep and interesting and you've come a long way.

I understand what you are saying about this environment not being fully conductive to 100% healing.

I think there is still a lot of work to be done,  hopefully you'll check in now and then to compare notes.

It really has nothing to do with it not being conducive to healing.  The space is what we make it.  It has to do with me and the direction im going is deeply conceptual and difficult to communicate.  Also if I do apply the concepts themselves they deconstruct people's reality and may seem hostile. For example to use the framework in one of my above posts the "femenists," of the manosphere are merely ones own repressed dissacosiated painful emotion projected onto the female image if it does not look at one they way one would like to see themself as implying a dependency on external females as their source of identity and the idea of themaelf as an alpha male a delusion to hide from their own pain.  Pain that has to do possibly with feeling engulfed by a female figure such as ones own mother, a common Hitchcock theme.

But thank you inferno and I hope you find the inner peace you are seeking.  I highly recomend you read Lacan once his concepts are understood the pick up artist alpha male world will be seen as an illusion.  All it really does is shift the object of desire from women to a narcissitic self image as a way to attract women to validate the false self image as ones identity.

Your way of looking at things and mine differ,  but I think there's room for both.

I am at the stage where I'm glad for the journey and the lessons, I have a passion for it and I want to understand it fully so that I can help other people who have been through the same. I do think I can learn from your knowledge.

In helping people to recover from emotional abuse and start being the person they are meant to be,  I also belive there may be something in there to help borderlines themselves.  The current clinical approach does not work. 

One thing I'm realizing is I need to focus on my healing and have spent too much of my life trying to help others and getting lost in their little world and doing that has kept me stuck.  We can agree to disagree but I highly urge you to look through the proverbial telescope and see for yourself. If you want a theoretical framework read Lacan and learn the concepts but what you trully seek is in that void space I describe and by releasing the emotions can you find that divine spark within and see yourself from its gaze.  Everything else is an illusion.

[Blimblam]

But inferno

Really if you want to keep your ex as an attachment that's ok!  That's your choice and there's nothikg wrong with that but checking out the staying board materials is a safe bet and seeking the guidance their and navigating those waters as that is where the site residents experts on that reside. 

[Grey Kitty]

I think I'm done here. 

I've really appreciated what this place has done for me and the service it provides.

 I feel about the same. I think I've learned what I needed to learn here, and shared what I needed to share. I'm ready to focus more of my energy elsewhere.

It is a good feeling.

Fair winds and following seas,

GK

[Blimblam]

I think I'm done here. 

I've really appreciated what this place has done for me and the service it provides.

 I feel about the same. I think I've learned what I needed to learn here, and shared what I needed to share. I'm ready to focus more of my energy elsewhere.

It is a good feeling.

Fair winds and following seas,

GK

Thanks grey kitty good luck to you also

I will still show people as it's sort of my calling a sort of spiritual clown . 

I may write a book on comparative mythologies/psychology/society to explain it in depth, the clowning has always come naturally to me, although it's often punished, I just see the illusion for what it is. It's hilarious and tragic at once.

Actually a lot of humour has been copied and made it into the mainstream it's so strange to see it come back to me years later through the television or the Internet. One of my bits became extremely famous.

Maybe one day I'll find a clown woman who can see me.

[Sunfl0wer]

Hi Blimblam,

I appreciate your posts and admit that I have gone back to them as I need time to slowly digest the info.  (I am unaware of many of your references... .and expect at some point to go back and look some of it up that I find interesting... .so I thank you for what I will learn in my future.)

I have been trying to tap into the idea that everything is a narrative... .on a regular basis, some sort of comedy, and it has been very useful and is helping me to remove all the emotion from my experience, or rather put it into a perspective, and giving me more peace within myself... .and it helps me to remove all the "stuff" to find a purer/true me. 

I was originally trying to practice wise mind and mindfulness, however, it feels like understanding that life is all a narrative has helped complement this and it can get me to where I'm trying to go in my head more clearly.

I want to continue this type of learning and thinking... .and will.   I'm grateful for your time here!

~SF

What is this "being seen?"  It is a desire of many... .myself included.

In any event... .  I wish too for you a clown woman to see you. 

[Blimblam]

My own narrative about describing a thing will only lead you away from the actual thing, anyone's will. I practice meditation often, about 25 hours a week recently. I first learned to meditate on my own going into isolation for extended periods of time (months) in the forest while fasting etc.  I had developed a few mantras to do what the wise mind model provides.  The mindfulness I mainly see presented in the western models is sort of in the moment ways to prevent attaching the pain from the abyss within attaching to life situations in the moment.  There is another aspect to it also which is to enter that abyss and process the repressed emotions there that we have dissacosiated from throughout our lives that are held in the body mind.  I have given some instructions on how I do that.  Their is also a buddhist method based on similiar principles with its own method known as vipassana meditation which I think is a good way to introduce someone to it.  My own personal method is much more fluid in that it's less preoccupied with perfect technique requires less disipline and I focus more on lucid dreaming recently.

There's some good posts in your thread about the rational mind bein the latest add on to the mind and that we have a more primitive body mind that informs us of our emotions well it's in that place that our dissasociated emotions from our entire life are held and we simply attach them to images in our mind that we often attach to things In the external world to bring them to our attention that they need to be Delt with.  Realizing that is what is happening allows one to detach it from the external and focus on it where it exists which is in those bodily sensations that our head attached to a narrative to make rational sense of it.  They don't go away on their own and we use the idealized self image to hide from them, but behind the mirror they lurk in that void by the body untill confronted.

[Blimblam]

I will explain to you how I learned to meditate and distill it into something you can do to understand for yourself. 

I went into the woods with no phone and at first I had no books with me no mirror and no screens or toys.  I sat their and laid there i began to talk to myself a lot then stopped for a few days I got sick (bad water) and nearly died.  I recovered then I ran out of food for 3 days I also decided to stop itching and just sit their.  It was when I didn't eat for three days and didn't itch my body that I learned to meditate. 

If you can go somewhere isolated in nature for about 5 days and after getting ready the first day bring no mirrors or screens or books or objects to distract yourself with.  Only drink water (bring with you enough clean drinking water) and eat on the first and last day.  Just sit and lay in one spot the entire time you can bathe and use the restroom.  Do not eat or itch for three days. If you can stay longer than 5 days that's great you can eat but just sit and stay in one spot do not busy yourself with any external things or activities.

Being completely isolated from other people is crucial so finding a spot that isn't on a campground but the middle of nowhere is ideal. Knowing how to camp minimally is ideal you don't need much of anything really.

That's the old fashioned way of getting in touch with yourself and a variation of that exists within pretty much every culture for millenea. The issue is we live in a culture of instant gratification and people want instant results our culture is based on reinforcing the idealized self image to hide from our Pain, shame and fears. Facing those parts of ourself is not easy and you may exerience Extremely uncomfortable sensations it can even be terrifying.  It gets worst before it gets better. 

[Blimblam]

If you can do that three days fast but stay in isolation in nature for some thing like 40 days and 40 nights it can really be life changing.  Around day 30 it becomes very difficult, none of it is easy.  I can think of no easier way though to heal oneself though.  It's very important while doing it to not keep yourself busy with tasks we hide behind the tasks as well. No screens no books no mirrors.

[Blimblam]

"I came out to watch you play. Why are you running away?"

[NorthLight]

Hey Blim, coming here to read once in a while, but couldn't miss replying on this, so here it is, my first post in a half year:)

I saw you are done here... .I remember when i wrote i was "done", i thanked you and other people for helping me in the hardest period of my life, my biggest test.

You have helped a lot of people when they have been in a very dark emotional place, you and other great people have replied to them and helped them by being there and listen to them, and together understand and then slowly accept the reality.

Maybe you don't see it right now, but what you and others are actually doing is saving people when they are about to drown.

You are a hero, never forget that Good luck !