Are they ever happy?

[Depression = 72% of members]

Sometimes I look at my BPDex and his second new gf in a year (I only broke it off a year ago in April, he had a newgf in June, and now another) and wonder if they are really happy? (I know they are not his post, and inconsistant relationship status tell me they are not) but, my brain keeps thinking that he is able to fool the next girl. I shouldnt care but, I do care. Do they ever experience true happiness?

[JayApril]

Sometimes I look at my BPDex and his second new gf in a year (I only broke it off a year ago in April, he had a newgf in June, and now another) and wonder if they are really happy? (I know they are not his post, and inconsistant relationship status tell me they are not) but, my brain keeps thinking that he is able to fool the next girl. I shouldnt care but, I do care. Do they ever experience true happiness?

[enlighten me]

I believe they have moments of happiness but never are contented.

[dobie]

Mine admited to being scared of being happy as something always goes wrong .

[valet]

I think that their happiness is deeply rooted in their infatuations and ability to receive approval from them.

That doesn't sound like true happiness, though, does it?

So a little bit of yes; a little bit of no.

[FannyB]

I think that being temporarily distracted from the paucity of their existence equates to 'happiness' for them. Hence they love the honeymoon period of a relationship, but revert to irritable mode once infatuation wears off and the hard work begins. 

[dobie]

I think that being temporarily distracted from the paucity of their existence equates to 'happiness' for them. Hence they love the honeymoon period of a relationship, but revert to irritable mode once infatuation wears off and the hard work begins.  

Snap! mine was always needing or looking for distractions still is

Mine told me in June I'm so happy about work and the house I'm waiting for something to go wrong so am worrying about being happy

October she dumps me and weeks later tells me she has been unhappy for the whole r/s  


Her new infatuation/distraction  is her new single  best friend another selfish b@@@h now they can chase guys together and do bff stuff (pathetic)

[Tay25]

Like enlighten me said,  I believe they can achieve temporary happiness however it is never sustainable. Deep down inside they feel shame and have low self-esteem. Without long term care these things cannot be changed.

[zundertowz]

Even during the honeymoon period where we were madly in love the happiness was so fragile that once a month something would set her off into a tantrum I never experienced from an adult before.  :)idnt matter... .on weekends, vacations, holidays... .Underneath it all there is a damaged psychotic person who will never be truly happy.  Its just a matter of time before the next person figures it out. That doesnt mean our exes wont have more long term fantasy relationships... .it just means that they all will eventually turn out to be miserable... .we still have a chance of finding peace and happiness.

[ATLandon]

The only time my soon-to-be-exwife ever seemed truly, 100% happy is either when I was spending large amounts of money on her or giving my attention and love to her when it really should have been directed to someone else (i.e. family or friends in need). That's it though. And obviously it wasn't real happiness.

[apollotech]

"I think that being temporarily distracted from the paucity of their existence equates to 'happiness' for them. Hence they love the honeymoon period of a relationship, but revert to irritable mode once infatuation wears off and the hard work begins."

My view closely aligns with FannyB's. Think about it like this: Is a child ever truly happy and content long-term? Like a child, a pwBPD is only happy and content with someone/something until the new wears off (the distraction subsides)---recycles, triangulations, infidelities, replacements, etc. Not the behaviors of someone that's happy, but rather the behaviors of someone that is desperately/obsessively looking for something.