Bizarre thoughts and obsessions - did your BPD have them?

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

Something I have often pondered is that my exBPD at times - rarely, perhaps 3-4 times during our relationship - seemed to have these semi-psychotic thoughts and obsessions which always appeared to revolve around the same theme. (The following might be a bit disturbing - just a word of warning.)

She literally became obsessed with intestines - asked really weird questions such as whether I believed humans could survive on a diet of animal intestines, wrote poems about intestines, and once even woke me up in the middle of the night to ask whether I thought she actually had intestines. These episodes were rather scary to witness even though they never seemed to be connected with violent impulses. Typically, these periods lasted about a week and almost always followed in the wake of her being very stressed out, anxious or under pressure of some sort. I am pretty sure that she did not suffer from schizophrenia or that her thoughts were drug-induced. Did any of your experience something similar with your ex-partners?

Even though it has been long since we broke up, and I feel that I have recovered in many ways, this is still something that haunts me as it was so bizarre and I always feared what this would develop into.

[Sofie]

Something I have often pondered is that my exBPD at times - rarely, perhaps 3-4 times during our relationship - seemed to have these semi-psychotic thoughts and obsessions which always appeared to revolve around the same theme. (The following might be a bit disturbing - just a word of warning.)

She literally became obsessed with intestines - asked really weird questions such as whether I believed humans could survive on a diet of animal intestines, wrote poems about intestines, and once even woke me up in the middle of the night to ask whether I thought she actually had intestines. These episodes were rather scary to witness even though they never seemed to be connected with violent impulses. Typically, these periods lasted about a week and almost always followed in the wake of her being very stressed out, anxious or under pressure of some sort. I am pretty sure that she did not suffer from schizophrenia or that her thoughts were drug-induced. Did any of your experience something similar with your ex-partners?

Even though it has been long since we broke up, and I feel that I have recovered in many ways, this is still something that haunts me as it was so bizarre and I always feared what this would develop into.

[Targeted]

I will admit this is very bizarre, but try to put it into context? How much do you know about this person? Where they abused mentally? Physically?  Miyax had the weirdest things that she would say to me.   The only thing I can think about with intestines would be sexual abuse. Someone may have used that as a excuse to abuse this person,  the disorder comes from abuse, neglect, and so on

[Sofie]

Thank you for your thoughts. My exBPD claimed to have been severely sexually abused by her father and men her father knew. Although I will admit to doubting some of her more extreme claims (too many things that simply don't add up), I don't doubt that she was abused in some way growing up.

[clydegriffith]

The only thing she would obsess over is whatever guy she was chasing.

[SpringInMyStep]

Mine always had an obsession-o-the-moment. Usually a crisis. But weird obsessions, yes. She had homicidal ideations and routinely talked about murdering "everyone in the world". I didn't know what to think and I guess at the time I didn't take her seriously and figured talking about it wasn't the same as doing it. But looking back - wow - she probably should be in an inpatient facility. She's not ok.

[Climbmountains91]

My ex has obsessions but i think this is down to his Aspergers Syndrome? As he put it anyway. He has an obsession with guns and knifes which doesn't help his suicidal idealisation as he's harmed himself with them. Apart from that his other obsessions are with TV series, xbox games, world war two and navajo. Sounds like your "normal" typical 20 something year old guy but he goes on about these subjects for hours. I remember he went on about religion for three hours one night non stop, he was off on one about it. I was drained by the end of it.

[outside9x]

Obsession about money.  Used to say before dates, not that I ever, ever, asked, but she would say, I can't help you with the tip, honey "I  B POR"!  Then at times tell me, how she might be able to apply for food stamps.  What the heck.  Drove a Lexus, lived in a beautiful 3 bedroom TH, with finished Basement, and bar, 4 bathrooms, and put down a huge chunk of money. 

Constantly about money, then goes out, and spends over $25K on her face, not to mention other things.  But money,  big obsession.!

[Bak86]

Yeah my ex was obsessed with food. Absolutely craved food. Would go binge eating quite a lot. Wouldn't share her food with me if she was on a binge eating session. Skinniest person i've ever met though. She gained 5 kg during our r/s. Now she lost all that and is even skinnier than before. I have a feeling she has an eating disorder. I made her happy for a while, she gained weight because of that, she doesn't like being "normal" weight, becomes unhappy, dumps me, finally can lose weight again.

[Climbmountains91]

Yeah my ex was obsessed with food. Absolutely craved food. Would go binge eating quite a lot. Wouldn't share her food with me if she was on a binge eating session. Skinniest person i've ever met though. She gained 5 kg during our r/s. Now she lost all that and is even skinnier than before. I have a feeling she has an eating disorder. I made her happy for a while, she gained weight because of that, she doesn't like being "normal" weight, becomes unhappy, dumps me, finally can lose weight again.

Oh gawd how could i forget this one. Mines always on about meat how its killed/processed etc. He loves/craves meat 24/7. He obsesses over KFC :S eats out there nearly all week. His obsessed with eating out. He eats at certain times aswell. Its always food, food, food! Hes weights crept up since i met him i think thats more to do with the drinking though. Thats another obsession, alcohol, especially how Whiskey is made etc...   Its like argh shut up! !

[Cocoon]

This may be triggering for some, so continue at your own peril... .I also am meandering... .

My ex had obsessions with politics, Illuminati, or some secret group of wealthy people, who did things like plan genocide, possibly instilled global events like typhoons, to kill off mass groups of poor people... .

Really out there, violent obsessions. He was an flag waving independent, and would regularly get on a soap box if you'd disagree with him. I remember one choice fight we had, as I was getting ready to go to AlAnon (which he would sometimes go with me, as a compromise to counseling). He picked up an AlAnon forum book, pointed out how he had issues with causing fights, and escalating, yelling, running away. He acknowledged it was destructive behavior, and he wanted to improve.

I was so relieved to hear him say this.

THEN... .in the next 5 minutes, he started talking about how democrats and republicans were all idiots, and they should listen to him [The unemployed guy who is homeless, whom at the time I was financially supporting]. I said hey I'm a registered Democrat, and what you're saying is insulting, so please stop doing that.

He didn't. He kept escalating the whole way in the car,  to the meeting [which I intuitively chose to drive... .I was not getting in the car with him driving. I could feel one of his tantrums coming]. I had to pull over and confront him, when he was insulting me, ask him why I would want to be in the car with someone who thought so little of me. He stormed out of the car in a rage... .I'm left in the wake of god knows what just happened.

He'd use politics as a way to feel superior, although would not offer sources, and was not credible, nor respectful of divergent opinions. Especially the one who was feeding and housing him at the time.

It seemed every day I was explaining the concept of empathy, and how getting 3 phone numbers in 1 year disconnected for non payment, MIGHT be a sign of some underlying mental issue, honey. When I finally understood the self centered behavior he had, of not paying bills, I was kind of horrified. My fico score is over 700, and I had to WORK HARD at it. His mental issues were part of many debts unpaid, and children of his own, he was ignoring.

Also my confusion when he'd justify antisocial behavior (war like imagery, fixating on the end of the world and doomsday prepping, rather than looking for a job, any job) or irresponsible raging behavior for HOURS... .I believe I thought about his children more than HE did. I tried not to judge, although it was eventually, with many other reasons, I let go.

I want to thank my friend "T." who shared his BPD diagnosis with me, and helped me identify what was happening with my uBPDex. Thank you for letting me share too. I have shame about tolerating some very poor behavior from my ex. And also see he offered me many helpful loving times too. His selfish actions killed the love though. I feel so glad I'm not recycling with him right now. It's been challenging.

[Infared]

Mine had obsessions about spiders. She was always scanning up at ceilings in corners and would just point... .at which point I was supposed to take care of the situation. I kind of thought it was quirky, cute, whatever. ... .and hey... .she got to play victim some more and I got to be rescuer. ... .but I found it to be a really intense, obsessive fear when I attempted to play a practical joke on her with out thinking it through.

I had been camping with my buddies and I went to an outfitter in the area we were camping to purchase some warmer clothes as it was colder than we had expected.  The outfitter had this GIANT rubber spider for sale on the counter and I thought it would be funny to put in one of my buddies tents in the dark. Two of us were in on the joke... .he got a scared for about a nanosecond and we all laughed... .

Now this thing was HUGE. As big as an adult man's hand. The abdomen was ridiculously huge... .my point is even in the dark my friend was afraid for a second.  In broad daylight it was obviously fake.  I did not preplanned this... I was unpacking at home and threw it in the bathtub in broad daylight thinking it would be funny. ... (and I also want to say that I never teased her about her obsession ... .I always tried to make it better, except this thoughtless

morning)... .In this case I should have thought it through a little more... .as I regretted doing it.  She came to me unable to speak and white as a ghost... .she thought it was real. She was shaking and terrified. I felt horrible and apologized and comforted her... .but she was REALLY shook up.  It is almost impossible to believe that any adult would think the thing was real after the first glance, but she was in such a state that I feel bad about it to this day even after all the horrible things she did and said at the end of our relationship.  ... .but that obsession was intense.

She also had a minor obsession with infectious diseases like EBOLA. Almost like it excited her. ... ?

[search4peace]

My ExGF suffered from orthorexia nervosa.

Its an eating disorder characterized by a strong and persistent preoccupation with ultra healthy/"clean"/organic food.

She bought everything organic... .I mean EVERYTHING, right down to her spices, vitamins, toothpaste, etc... .you name it, she found an organic version of it or she wouldnt buy it.  She eventually started looking for and then buying only grass-fed beef, stating at one point that she woudn't ever go back to non-grass-fed.

Aside from being expensive, it was very isolating... .we couldn't go out to eat with my family or friends, I couldnt buy and cook anything for her unless it met these standards. She carried food with her and for her son on every excursion.

[leftconfused]

Search4peace - Mine had the same obsession although maybe not quite as bad.  He did all the cooking and would only buy organic/grass fed/non GMO etc.  He would constantly degrade me for my eating habits and that I eat like crap.  We could occassionally go out for dinner though.

Cocoon - Yours sound like mine!  He was all into conspiracy theories, genocide etc.  He considers himself independent and I am also a democrat.  We could NOT have these conversations.  He would put me down, tell me I was ignorant etc.  But like yours he could offer me no real proof of his theories.  Reading your reply didn't trigger me, it reminded me of why I am SO glad to be out of that craziness!  No thank you!