Hard Day- Traveling on Trip of Lifetime Sans Ex

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

A month ago we were getting ready to fly to Mexico for a beautiful vacation with friends.

My ex goes bowling with a gal we just met. I decide to stay behind to get stuff done and now they are in love. She tells me this week this is "the one". Is introducing her to our mutual friends and telling them I friend ones get and this is her new GF.

Within a week locks changed and I'm being told we never dated and I was "never here". I will be honest I've withdrawn from being left several times for other people (read my posts from 2013). We even bought a dog this year that lives with her.

I really am very hurt. I was so looking forward to this trip with her. Since meeting this girl she keeps calling me a good friend. She says this would have been a fun friends adventure.

I feel a lot of hatred for her. I tried so hard and feel like I failed. She is acting like I meant nothing. If I express how I feel she calls it "drama" and blocks me (I admit I texted her in a weak moment).

I want to enjoy this trip but how do I do this knowing she is with someone else and I have been so discarded?

[Pretty Woman]

A month ago we were getting ready to fly to Mexico for a beautiful vacation with friends.

My ex goes bowling with a gal we just met. I decide to stay behind to get stuff done and now they are in love. She tells me this week this is "the one". Is introducing her to our mutual friends and telling them I friend ones get and this is her new GF.

Within a week locks changed and I'm being told we never dated and I was "never here". I will be honest I've withdrawn from being left several times for other people (read my posts from 2013). We even bought a dog this year that lives with her.

I really am very hurt. I was so looking forward to this trip with her. Since meeting this girl she keeps calling me a good friend. She says this would have been a fun friends adventure.

I feel a lot of hatred for her. I tried so hard and feel like I failed. She is acting like I meant nothing. If I express how I feel she calls it "drama" and blocks me (I admit I texted her in a weak moment).

I want to enjoy this trip but how do I do this knowing she is with someone else and I have been so discarded?

[myself]

You didn't fail. It just isn't possible with her. How many tears, how many tries? You both rewrote the r/s history in your own ways, while recycling etc. Now to focus on the present, creating a better future. Don't put pressure on yourself to have the greatest trip ever, because that's not where you are right now. It's still raw, but it's good to not be with someone who hurts you, isn't it? Disordered or whatever. She's not better off than you. She's on the run, avoiding/causing pain. A vacation is a time of being somewhere else, seeing other things, tasting other flavors, and then being recharged in ways that will help you enter the next chapter of your life. Let it go... .Peace.

[Aussie0zborn]

I wish I could give you positive encouragement. You are in a crucially sensitive stage right now. When I left her the first time I went on an overseas trip to be as far away from her as possible.

I stayed with friends, discovered some new places but traveling without her was depressing and I didn't enjoy it at all. In fact I weakened at took her phone call and we reconnected - big mistake.

If you think you too might feel empty on this trip like I did, you might think twice about the trip. Maybe another destination?

In any case it sounds like you might need to do some work on yourself to accept and understand the situation. Once you work out that you can't change it and that you are not a failure, you can start healing. I found the resources and the forum here to be extremely helpful and to speed up my recovery. Good luck on your road to recovery.

[fromheeltoheal]

I want to enjoy this trip but how do I do this knowing she is with someone else and I have been so discarded?

By using it.  Travel is a great way to break us out of our routines and provide new stimulus, or at least distraction.  You can make a decision that you're going to have a great time, but then you'll compare the actual time you have to that.  Instead you might use the hatred you have for her as fuel to insist you're going to dive into whatever shows up while you're away all the way, and use some anger to discard her and insist you have some fun with whomever you meet despite her.  This was a vacation the two of you planned together, so why not use it as a tool to get over her?  Only seems fair.