BPDD back home

[JustAMum]

My nearly 17 yr old d is back home. After an OD attempt last year she was put into boarding school. She did very well as a boarder, coped with the change and got a fantastic report. She is now back home full time. I have established boundaries involving SH. I just feel anxious about her being back home. I don't like to leave her alone. I'm hoping that sending her to boarding school was a strong message that SH is not acceptable. I also sent her because I needed respite as I had a breakdown. My psych wanted me to leave her in boarding school but due to finances I couldn't. I find it hard to trust my d to stay safe.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[livednlearned]

Hi Justamum,

What good news that she did well -- this must have given you a chance to build up some strength, although I can completely understand the anxiety you're feeling. It sounds like she will not be returning? How does she feel about that -- does she want to come home and stay with you?

It's hard to be a sole parent and try to manage things financially, and paying for boarding school must've been tough to afford.

Is D still in DBT therapy? Is she back together with her BF?

Just want to send a   because I know what it's like to be the sole parent. So much is on our shoulders, with no one to hold the burden to give us a reprieve, even for a short while. I sometimes try to remember what it felt like to not worry all the time, and do what I can to hold those moments of lightness when they are in my life.

[twojaybirds]

Hi Justamom.

I too was a single mom when my dd behavior's erupted in high school senior year.

I often felt like a prisoner and jailer when she was living at home or now when she comes to visit.

I still lock up my bedroom, the spare room and anything of value, which means I am walking around with keys.

Then, she was not allowed to be home if I was not home.  At first she resisted then came to accept that stipulation.  That meant while I was at work I could at least rest that my home and belongings were safe as I would also set the home alarm, even if I were leaving for a quick trip to the grocery store.

Continue to look for ways to find respite for yourself.  You need and deserve that time.

[JustAMum]

 Yes she's still with the bf which I'm happy about. He's a nice enough kid and accepts her for her with all her issues. I trust her with my things at home. I don't trust her to stay safe. My psych says that that's normal and with time it should pass. When she first became ill with an ED over 2yrs ago I made her my main priority and totally focused on her. The ED is now under control. I have come to realise that it's ok for me to have a bit of a life of my own outside of her mental health issues.