Letting go?

[SurfNTurf]

Hello everyone,

I was reading this article in another post:

Five Keys to Help You Heal, Whether You Stay in Your Relationship or Leave

by Susan Collins

And the author talks about letting go. Much of letting go I understand, but she makes a statement about learning to let go of "... .the need to feel honored... ."

I'm not sure how to do this, or what this actually means. Is this part of letting go of expectations, or what?  I know already I am not honored in my r/s, it makes me feel rather lonesome at times, but how do I let go?

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[EaglesJuju]

Hi SurfNTurf,

I interpret "letting go" as my way of completely revolving around my pwBPD through worrying about his behavior and neglecting my own needs. I had a tendency to base all my decisions around him and a constant need to appease him. Quite often I would think of his behavior as coming from a non-disordered person. I was always expecting him to change and not thinking that I needed to change. I am working on radical acceptance and am getting to a place where the majority of the behavior does not affect me.  My own issues get in the way of completely radically accepting. I think letting go is letting go of all my behaviors/thoughts that are causing me anxiety. For me, letting go is all about me changing myself.