Is my partner suffering from BPD or am I?

[Jasper1]

Living together for almost nine years. Things are getting more and more difficult. If he has a problem with my opinion, a war breaks out. He calls me names then tries to make up, then I say something else that upsets him and it starts all over again.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[an0ught]

Hi Jasper1,

marriage trouble is somehow normal. When it becomes war it is less normal. Often both sides contribute and from the outside it becomes difficult to figure out where the main driver sits. BPD is a spectrum disorder which is a fancy way to say some have it more and some have it less. It is not inconceivable that both sides have it somewhat. It is also possible to enrage a normal person persistently so that person starts behaving similar to a pwBPD. If you are seriously worried - please consult a professional!

What makes you think that you may be dealing with BPD on your side?

[EaglesJuju]

Hi Jasper1,

I would like to join an0ught and welcome you. 

I am sorry that you are going through this.     I understand how frustrating it is to cope with difficult behavior and arguments. Many people are sensitive to criticism and someone else's opinion can be perceived as criticism. This is very common amongst people with BPD (pwBPD).  What types of opinions does he get upset with?