So they get rid of us then block us on all social media (painted black?). :)o you think they still stalk you? I don't want to block back because I think it's immature and shows I cared but I also don't want them seeing my stuff.
Hi healingslowly12,
My BPDex blocked me back in December of 2014. Why? Because I wouldn't accept a "Friend Request" from him. This after being dumped by him without explanation and being given the Silent Treatment for over a year prior to the "request". So I was blocked for being a meanie and "rejecting" him. Like I was the bad guy here.
However, there is no doubt in my mind that he still checks up on me from time to time (alternate FB accounts). I now have my FB page set to Private for most of my postings - so there's not much for him to see. I will admit that I occasionally make something public just to get a little payback (since we get zero closure from these people). My public postings are things that I know will get to him - promotions at work, fun outings with friends / significant other, etc... I realize I'm being juvenile in doing this - but to be honest - I don't care.
For a while I was pi$$ed off that he was living this great life (according to his own FB postings) and that there were no repercussions for his actions towards myself and others. That I was forgotten and life was awesome. I found out recently (and thru the wise folks on this forum) that nothing could be further from the truth. My ex is very, very good at "fronting". That is - putting up a facade on FB that his life, marriage, family, etc... are just beyond amazing and everything is perfect! Well... .it's a lie. My aunt saw the ex about a month ago. She was leaving a store as he was going in. Told me that he looked horrible. Like he was a hundred years old! Kind of hunched over and "hobbling along like an old man" (he has neuropathy in his hands and feet). Also - a mutual friend has since informed me that from what she has seen from him on FB - he is anything but happy. Karma, anyone?
You will stop looking (if you are still doing so) at their social media when you are good and ready. Don't let anyone tell you to "get over it" or "it's time to move on". You will get there at your own pace. It's taken me over two years to get there ! A couple of things that I know now and am okay with - my ex will probably continue to check up on me from time to time as most of them don't like to let go of a "connection" or "attachment". I am obviously not forgotten as I had previously believed - my ex clings to an item that I purchased for him like it's a family heirloom! His life is not "amazing" like he portrays to his FB fans - in fact it pretty much sux!
I've stopped sneaking onto his FB page. It serves no purpose. What he posts on there is fake and is meant to boost his false image. I know that my life is far better than his. In every way. And he knows it, too! That is my closure and my "payback". I'm sure your ex checks up on you. Probably a lot more often that you think. But they would rather die than let you know this. There seems to be this need to appear like they don't care. A defense mechanism. But mine hasn't let go in almost three years (will hit that milestone at the beginning of October).
Let them stalk your FB page. Let them wallow in what they ruined. That sounds harsh - but whatever. Take care of you!
