D Day -3

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Daily calls or skyping will be impossible to fulfill to the letter.  "Life will find a way" - phrase borrowed from the chaos math guy in Jurassic Park movie.  My ex was so entitled that before the phone call issue was addressed she often failed to allow my calls to reach my son.  After I got equal time all of a sudden she started demanding her calls, making such a scene about a weekend where one of two phones died that the magistrate ordered daily calls each evening.  It was a real hardship and every failed call triggered her to threaten court.  That order was finally reset back to 'reasonable' over 4 years later.

Obviously your ex clearly can't complain much so it probably won't be an issue for you.

[ForeverDad]

Daily calls or skyping will be impossible to fulfill to the letter.  "Life will find a way" - phrase borrowed from the chaos math guy in Jurassic Park movie.  My ex was so entitled that before the phone call issue was addressed she often failed to allow my calls to reach my son.  After I got equal time all of a sudden she started demanding her calls, making such a scene about a weekend where one of two phones died that the magistrate ordered daily calls each evening.  It was a real hardship and every failed call triggered her to threaten court.  That order was finally reset back to 'reasonable' over 4 years later.

Obviously your ex clearly can't complain much so it probably won't be an issue for you.

[Stylianos]

Ive spoke with STBX several times since the court decision and brought the kids to visit her once.  The phone calls went ok, but one time she got emotional as she reflected  back on stuff... .i dont engage with her when she gets there and only hit on the opportunity aspect of her having the time to get better.

On sunday when i brought the kids - she spoke to them and told them that she wasnt going overseas on the trip with them, but that she would see them around their birthdays and in the summer.  THey werent phased at all at the time and havent mentioned it at all to me.  Partly their response would seem to be related to me taking care of their stuff full time for years, and for me running solo since early July.  I didnt question them but i will make sure their counselors and us sit and talk this out if they have any lingering fears/concerns about this.  I started them in the local school here today - as they will be there until we depart next month - and will continue to prepare for our departure in OCT.  STBX is planning to get an apartment where she is at right now.

LNL - thank you.  I am still leaning on my support team (to include this site) to hash stuff out.  Lately i have been having self doubts rattling around in my head.  I know i have been in survival mode for a while now - but now its different, its more than that - i need to make sure the kids and i thrive.  Im doing the things i need to - but sometimes i get lost in the big picture and feel like im not enough.  I know thats self sabotage - and i try to banish those thoughts when they come around.  I just want to make sure im good enough to get it done because now there is no one else to pull the cart.

Foreverdad - thank you.  In the court order i had the lawyer put in "the father shall make every good faith effort to allow the mother to have daily phone/skype... ." also for the trips back to conus i had "Subject to the approval of his employer... ." - and another clause "the mothers visitation with the children shall be conditioned upon her continued treatment and compliance with treatment recommendations and medications - and that the mother shall authorize her treating physicians and or therapists to report to the father on the limited issue of whether the mother is still compliant with treatment and meds... ."

Once we get overseas we will also have 5 hours and 3500 or so miles which help to buffer.

I have a significant list of logistics to handle in the interim -

Thanks again to all

Rgds,

S