Sister in Crisis

[CityKitty]

Hello,

My older half-sister has been diagnosed with BPD and is and has been in crisis for nearly a decade. She has periods of semi-stability but for the most part either has not worked or has not worked full-time, is functionally homeless (currently living with another family member), is a financial burden, and has no prospects for bettering her lot in life. Her adult son recently died of a heroin overdose and this has sent her spiraling downward. She has been hospitalized (psych ward) three times over the years and has had a variety of diagnoses (PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, Anorexia, etc) She has a history of alcohol abuse, is addicted to benzos, cuts herself, and has been in and out of talk therapy most of her adult life. She cannot form healthy, stable relationships of any kind and is twice-divorced. She has a turbulent history with our family, being estranged from them on and off for years at a time. Typing all this out and seeing it on a screen makes me feel utterly hopeless. She does not think she has a personality disorder and does not want to go back to the hospital. The only plans she has for the future are suicide which she talks about continually.


The family member who has taken her in is at the end of his rope and she is about to be street homeless. She has a car she can sleep in but that is it. Where do I put her? What do I do with her? Our family is not wealthy so a private facility is out of the question and no one is willing to take her in as it would be permanent. She could live another 30 or 40 years.

What do I do? Where do people with BPD go? What becomes of them?

[CeliaBea]

Dear CityKitty,

Your situation sounds very difficult—I am sorry to hear about your half sister. I wonder if she can get help through social services? Are there assisted living facilities for those who suffer from personality disorders and addictions? If I were you, I would check with social services, just to see what's available in terms of help and assisted housing. It is too much for family members to look after someone with such a severe disorder.

Celia

[Kwamina]

Hello CityKitty

There is a whole lot going in your half-sister's life and it's clearly affecting you and other family-members as well. I am very sorry that her son died in such a tragic manner. Losing a family-member is never easy and I want to offer you my sincere condolences.

You say your half-sister has been in crisis for nearly a decade. How would you describe her behavior before that time? And at what point exactly did she get diagnosed with BPD and what led up to this diagnosis?

You also mention that she has been in talk therapy for most of her adult life. Has she as far as you know ever gotten any targeted treatment specifically for her BPD, such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)?

Your half-sister's cutting behavior and continual talk of suicide is quite concerning. It's a very unfortunate reality of BPD that certain people with this disorder engage in self-harming behaviors and/or exhibit suicidal tendencies. When did she first start talking about suicide and has she, again as far as you know, ever made any actual suicide attempts? Are the three times she was hospitalized in a psych ward related to her suicidal ideation?

Take care and welcome to bpdfamily