How do I deal with this situation in a way that's good for both of us?
I´m sorry you have to deal with this. I had that in my life, too, that common tribal attitude against an innocent newcomer who doesn´t fit. According to them, of course!
It won´t be easy, but if you have the will and the strength, you will just have to follow the rule "Actions speak louder than words." Meaning you don´t dwell over what they say or try to enforce, just live what you are and be what you are. You don´t hurt anyone by being yourself, you are just making them anxious because things don´t run their way. But you have to train yourself not to hear and not to bother about what they say. I mean really. It is teaching/training yourself to be less sensitive to attempts of training by others.
My "tribe" used to say similar stupidities that made me literally sick, but my husband (although with BP) had so much common sense to see what is stupid, or maybe I was stubborn enough not to yield and accept their rules.
As for religion, I am a believer, but if I feel even a smell of force, then there is no God. Such people don´t really believe in anything, they are hypocrits.
