Restraining Order

[Butterflygirl]

He sent a second email saying his stomach does not understand my email. I sent another "I'm on vacation" email. I am frightened to death. This is when I break down and feel either frightened or sorry for him for being hungry. I am going to do nothing but wait and see. I can do this. I can do this. My husband is home now for moral support. I can do this.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[kelti1972]

Butterfly girl:   I am so sorry you are having these difficulties.  My son was verbally abusive to me all through highschool and I felt my husband didn't even stand up for me, which was really out of context for him.  We have seven children and he would have never let any of the other children abuse me like our son did.  Anyway that is here nor there, what I was thinking, you said you were a domestic violence counselor at one time?  Could you reach out to a domestic violent group and get support and help to stay strong and deal with your fears better.

Isnt that what they do on a regular basis?  I don't think it matters whether it is your husband or your son.  Violence is violence, abuse is abuse.  You are not to blame.  Kelti

[Butterflygirl]

He left two text messages and two more emails. He is threatening to shoplift groceries. I am doing nothing but praying for this to pass.

You say . . .

Could you reach out to a domestic violent group and get support and help to stay strong and deal with your fears better

They are never available on the weekends and you have to be careful what you say or they call the police whether you want them to or not.

Thank God for this board. If I am using up more than my share of time or space, let me know. Thanks. I will stop now and check in tomorrow . . .

[MammaMia]

Butterfly

Would your husband talk to your son and tell him to leave you alone?

He should also tell him if he steals groceries, you will not be bailing him out of jail. 

How old is your son?  I do not recall seeing his age.  Perhaps I missed it.

[Butterflygirl]

He finally backed down and did not call me until my day off was over. He wanted money for medication, health insurance, food and gas. I don't really like talking to him so usually I say things like "get to your point," or "why do you call me so often." This, of course, is perceived as rejection and he gets triggered. While I hate faking it it, I did and listened for a few moments as he vented and asked for my advice. I said I had no money. He said ok and we hung up. Now the guilt kicks in. I guess if I really want to diffuse this situation I have to give him some attention. It is better than the fighting. Am I wrong?

[MammaMia]

Butterfly

He is asking for a lot of money, and you can't do this forever.  If he is not able to work, perhaps he should look into medical and financial assistance. 

PwBPD just do not get how their constant demands wear us down.  You listened and that is most likely what he wanted. Stop beating yourself up. 

[Butterflygirl]

My son is 44. He works and then quits or gets fired. Due to arrest record for disturbing the peace it is hard for him to get job. He is brilliant and has a MBA so he taught himself to do paralegal work and is also a real estate broker. Self-employed is his only hope due to personality. He recently won a big case and says he will not need money much longer. Since money equals love for him I expect he will always want my help. I gave his $25 for food and thanks to you guys I am not going to feel guilty. Namaste. Good day so far.