DUI and possible long term jail time ~

[Harlygirl]

Looking for some advice... .udBPDbf arrested for multiple DUI's... .How do I maintain a safe distance and/or prepare for unwanted contact upon his release?

[rotiroti]

block his number, e-mail, and fb

[ForeverDad]

Is he an ex BF?  Based on his multiple DUI cases - and those are only the times he got caught! - you shouldn't even feel safe to ride in a vehicle with him driving.  So better to keep Distance between you.  Especially now that he's caught the attention of officialdom.

Beware of our normal inclinations to be helpful, empathetic - or whatever.  Getting back into contact with him could restart a slippery path back into his endless roller coaster life.  So can you be determined and resolute within yourself, to your core, that you can't and won't let him back into your life?

You should be able to just Not Respond to his attempts to make contact.  Be a Black Hole, so to speak.  You may feel a need to state your boundary that "it's over", just keep it short and simple, very clear and very firm.  (Stating your firm boundary in a documentable form such as an email or text may be wise, others may comment on it.)  Then stick to it.  No matter what.  No matter how much he claims he has suddenly 'seen the light'.

If he frequents certain bars, restaurants or other social areas, you may feel it wise to avoid them, at least for a while.  Never be with him in a secluded or private scenario, he may start to feel in control of the situation and weaken/undermine your boundaries.  If you see him, then depart, don't engage him in conversation.  Even talking to him to say "no" could be his way to continue "negative engagement".

If this is about the exBF from a couple years ago, then you may benefit from more than just our peer support, have you considered counseling to help you have better perspective in your life and build stronger boundaries?

There are other fish in the sea, find a healthy one.