I don't see how it is physically possible for them to keep rebounding.

[Schermarhorn]

So I know why she blocked me again, it appears she got another partner. I was most likely one of many to have gotten a message.

That makes 3 partners in less than 2 months. And I know nothing about what happened before me.

The single intense relationship I had with her tore me up. How can they go from an intense relationship to another to another like that?

Do they not feel any pain from a breakup? Are BPDs immune to the emotional toll of repetitive rebounds? How long do they keep it up?

[disorderedsociety]

Ime they just push the emotions into a dark dusty corner.

Mine said, when I was trying to discuss things and get closure, "I'm really happy with (new guy) and you're not gonna come between us."

Which probably means, "I'm not happy (no matter who I'm with) and the unfinished business is gonna come between us." Lol

[valet]

Yeah, that kind of behavior can take its toll on us. I think we've all been, or will be, there at some point post-breakup with our pwBPD.

For the pwBPD, this is a survival tactic. In the least eloquent terms, these rapid, intense relationships that they have are only a stopgap for the true pain that they feel inside—that they have always felt inside.

Look at it this way: their emotional health is already so poor that the ending of a relationship is just... .no big deal. That doesn't make it any less sad for us, but we do have to see both sides of the story to understand the truth, no?

[Mutt]

Hi Schermarhorn,

I'm sorry to hear that. I understand how intense a r/s with a pwBPD is. The news has to hurt.

valet is right, its survival. The pwBPD seek the perfect r/s and feel a deep emotional connection at the start of a r/s, this soothes their emotional wounds.

A person that suffers from BPD have maladaptive coping mechanisms and cannot grieve what their defense mechanism won't allow the person to feel; inhibited grieving unhealthily directs through acting out, anger and self sabotage.

[SummerStorm]

Look at it this way: their emotional health is already so poor that the ending of a relationship is just... .no big deal. That doesn't make it any less sad for us, but we do have to see both sides of the story to understand the truth, no?

Just like the loss of a job or moving all the time is just really no big deal.  It's a way of life for them.  I think they all know, deep down, that it's not a normal way of life.  Mine said to me that all she wanted was stability.  She knew that moving five times in a year wasn't what everyone else was doing.  But she re-wrote history as a survival technique and made herself out to be the victim.   

Look at it this way.  If you worked two different jobs in a year's time, and at both jobs, you wore a tie-dye shirt every day and everyone else at both jobs wore a white shirt every day, you'd probably realize that something is a little off with you.  But if you've always survived (survived, not thrived) by wearing a tie-dye shirt at every job, you just kind of accept it because you don't know how to go about buying white shirts and then wearing them to work. 

[butterfly 27]

Hello 

My ex broke up with me and I knew that a week after she was flirting with 4 different people and in less than two weeks she started dating my replacement.   

I was ungrounded during that time because a week before of break up with me she said she loved me and wanted only me  , she dismissed me as you throw a plastic cup in the trash.

It was like the love she said she felt for me never existed to be replaced so easily.I don't know how she did it because I'm still suffering the pain of the break up for 2 months now... .

I'm still trying to process in my head everything that happened...

[antelope]

How can they go from an intense relationship to another to another like that?

relationship is a tenuous word... .many of their 'relationships' are more like 'barely-sustainable dysfunctional interactions'

sometimes people just fill the role of another human body near them, or just an ear to hear their drama... .

all of us nons were 'role-fillers' too 

[shatra]

Valet wrote--

Look at it this way: their emotional health is already so poor that the ending of a relationship is just... .no big deal. That doesn't make it any less sad for us, but we do have to see both sides of the story to understand the truth, no?

----Can you tell more details?  The "ending of a relationship is just... .no big deal"

Do you mean that they repress the feelings of sadness and guilt, because it would be too painful to feel it?   If they felt the sadness it would really hurt, so instead they try to downplay or devalue an ended relationship as a defense against pain? Or did you mean something else

Shatra

[neverloveagain]

What does it matter? Bpd or not? Your 2 people that shared some time together. It's done it's gone why waste your time? Your not going to rationalise it and never will. Look to tomorrow forget the toxic past. Your gonna mess yourselves up in the future clinging to the past.