How do you interpret the fading-out of my feelings for my BPD BF?

[Isa_lala]

Hello

It’s been 3 years of weekly up-and-downs, of outrage bursts and all the behaviors usually seen in a person with a BPD.

For the first 2 years or so, it had been unthinkable for me to leave him. For the last few months, I started to consider leaving him and now, for the last few weeks, my feelings for him are slowly fading away.

Have you experienced it before you finally detached from your BPD loved one?

Thank you

[Pretty Woman]

I went through the same. The first two years insane. This last year I truly felt I was outgrowing her. She had caused so many issues in my life... .affected my relationships with family and friends... .my job, my interests. I truly felt she was living through me. It wasn't that we were complimenting each others lives.

I was afraid of being alone. That is why I didn't pull the trigger. The truth was I was always alone in this relationship.

PW

[Lifewriter16]

Hi Isa_lala,

I found that the more badly my BPDxbf behaved and the more recycles we went through, the more I cut-off from my feelings of love for him. It was like the feelings disappeared and I couldn't even remember what that love had felt like, although I knew that I had felt love for him. However, as soon as we broke up, the love and need for him came back with avengence. I hadn't actually stopped loving him, it was just my way of garnering strength because I knew I was going to have to leave. I've had to address the feelings since the breakup... .and I'm still in that process.

Lifewriter x

[Isa_lala]

I went through the same. The first two years insane. This last year I truly felt I was outgrowing her. She had caused so many issues in my life... .affected my relationships with family and friends... .my job, my interests. I truly felt she was living through me. It wasn't that we were complimenting each others lives.

I was afraid of being alone. That is why I didn't pull the trigger. The truth was I was always alone in this relationship.

PW

Hello Pretty Woman

Have you left her or are you still with her?

[Isa_lala]

Hi Isa_lala,

I found that the more badly my BPDxbf behaved and the more recycles we went through, the more I cut-off from my feelings of love for him. It was like the feelings disappeared and I couldn't even remember what that love had felt like, although I knew that I had felt love for him. However, as soon as we broke up, the love and need for him came back with avengence. I hadn't actually stopped loving him, it was just my way of garnering strength because I knew I was going to have to leave. I've had to address the feelings since the breakup... .and I'm still in that process.

Lifewriter x

I feel the same way. So I believe the risks are high to go back with him if I break up because the feelings of love could come back?

[rotiroti]

I have felt exactly the same.


I felt like I was happy and emotionally satisfied. It was certainly exciting and looking back I was confusing intensity with intimacy and love.


I was really sad and lonely when I realized that I wasn't happy when this person was with me. Especially as she was becoming angry, criticizing me, and worst of all giving me the silent treatment. I thought about my future and myself at those moments and knew it wasn't the life i wanted. No one should feel like that in their own home, let alone from someone they love

[Isa_lala]

It may simply be the logical detachment process... .