BPD common characteristic for all of us

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

Hi all

Since my break up a month ago after 5 years on a roller coaster I have noticed here for a vast majority that it is the BPD that suddenly breaks it off without closure. That is the most difficult thing to deal with for anyone. The BPD does not bend in these decisions and here we are left suddenly without any explanation other than it is totally about them. I helped her move the rest of her belongings out yesterday and still no answers. Coping skills seem to be the biggest problem I see in my ex. She is also bipolar 1 and I have gone thru severe manic episodes with her and very grandiose behavior during her mania that would last for months only to switch into a severe depression and not get out of bed for months.

That combined with BPD was crazy making and I am actually relieved that she did me that favor of wanting to leave. My sense of relief is overwhelming. I can breath and start to love myself and realize my own codependant tendencies.

I am grateful.

[Eye438]

Hi all

Since my break up a month ago after 5 years on a roller coaster I have noticed here for a vast majority that it is the BPD that suddenly breaks it off without closure. That is the most difficult thing to deal with for anyone. The BPD does not bend in these decisions and here we are left suddenly without any explanation other than it is totally about them. I helped her move the rest of her belongings out yesterday and still no answers. Coping skills seem to be the biggest problem I see in my ex. She is also bipolar 1 and I have gone thru severe manic episodes with her and very grandiose behavior during her mania that would last for months only to switch into a severe depression and not get out of bed for months.

That combined with BPD was crazy making and I am actually relieved that she did me that favor of wanting to leave. My sense of relief is overwhelming. I can breath and start to love myself and realize my own codependant tendencies.

I am grateful.

[gameover]

Cause

I can breath and start to love myself and realize my own codependant tendencies.

Effect

I have noticed here for a vast majority that it is the BPD that suddenly breaks it off without closure.

But it's awesome that you're able to recognize your codependency--that's the most important step to healing.  Really, BPD and Codependency are way more similar than most of us here are comfortable admitting.  The only real difference is that the Codependent identifies fulfilling their need (to be needed) with a single source; the pwBPD, who seems needier, is able to get their need (to be cared for) met by any number of sources.

We can chalk it up to 'morality' or 'loyalty' or 'honor' to bolster up our sense of superiority--but at the end of the day, our ability to introspect and change ourselves is really the only thing that separates us (literally and figuratively) from the pwBPD.

[Eye438]

Cause

I can breath and start to love myself and realize my own codependant tendencies.

Effect

I have noticed here for a vast majority that it is the BPD that suddenly breaks it off without closure.

But it's awesome that you're able to recognize your codependency--that's the most important step to healing.  Really, BPD and Codependency are way more similar than most of us here are comfortable admitting.  The only real difference is that the Codependent identifies fulfilling their need (to be needed) with a single source; the pwBPD, who seems needier, is able to get their need (to be cared for) met by any number of sources.

We can chalk it up to 'morality' or 'loyalty' or 'honor' to bolster up our sense of superiority--but at the end of the day, our ability to introspect and change ourselves is really the only thing that separates us (literally and figuratively) from the pwBPD.

Cause

I can breath and start to love myself and realize my own codependant tendencies.

Effect

I have noticed here for a vast majority that it is the BPD that suddenly breaks it off without closure.

But it's awesome that you're able to recognize your codependency--that's the most important step to healing.  Really, BPD and Codependency are way more similar than most of us here are comfortable admitting.  The only real difference is that the Codependent identifies fulfilling their need (to be needed) with a single source; the pwBPD, who seems needier, is able to get their need (to be cared for) met by any number of sources.

We can chalk it up to 'morality' or 'loyalty' or 'honor' to bolster up our sense of superiority--but at the end of the day, our ability to introspect and change ourselves is really the only thing that separates us (literally and figuratively) from the pwBPD.

thank you! I can't agree with you more it's hard to see but I am seeing it more and more as I get weird texts here and there that totally validates what I have been feeling for the past year. Getting a real good support system really helps. My sister has been staying with me and I have been busy. Particularly painting fine art. Thanks for your post!

[disorderedsociety]

Hi all

Since my break up a month ago after 5 years on a roller coaster I have noticed here for a vast majority that it is the BPD that suddenly breaks it off without closure. That is the most difficult thing to deal with for anyone. The BPD does not bend in these decisions and here we are left suddenly without any explanation other than it is totally about them. I helped her move the rest of her belongings out yesterday and still no answers.

Not only no closure, but they have to find a new attachment before anything else. Its priority #1 after you are finally done. Once mine found a new guy she knew would take her, she asked for her stuff back. Her MP3 cable and hair clip. Stupendously cold.

[Eye438]

Hi all

Since my break up a month ago after 5 years on a roller coaster I have noticed here for a vast majority that it is the BPD that suddenly breaks it off without closure. That is the most difficult thing to deal with for anyone. The BPD does not bend in these decisions and here we are left suddenly without any explanation other than it is totally about them. I helped her move the rest of her belongings out yesterday and still no answers.

Not only no closure, but they have to find a new attachment before anything else. Its #1 after you are finally done. Once mine found a new guy she knew would take her, she asked for her stuff back. Her MP3 cable and hair clip. Stupendously cold.

is it cold or mentally ill.

[Eye438]

Cause

I can breath and start to love myself and realize my own codependant tendencies.

Effect

I have noticed here for a vast majority that it is the BPD that suddenly breaks it off without closure.

But it's awesome that you're able to recognize your codependency--that's the most important step to healing.  Really, BPD and Codependency are way more similar than most of us here are comfortable admitting.  The only real difference is that the Codependent identifies fulfilling their need (to be needed) with a single source; the pwBPD, who seems needier, is able to get their need (to be cared for) met by any number of sources.

We can chalk it up to 'morality' or 'loyalty' or 'honor' to bolster up our sense of superiority--but at the end of the day, our ability to introspect and change ourselves is really the only thing that separates us (literally and figuratively) from the pwBPD.

yes it's very frightening to think there is a fine line between BPD and codependency the way we mesh is crippling to both parties, I have never in my life have experienced such an unhealthy relationship.