Remember, borderdude, y1ou can't save him--you'll only hurt yourself in the process. But you can through him the rope.
Here are a couple suggestions.
1. Get him in AA. Maybe go with him--alcoholism and being involved with a pwBPD are pretty much rooted in the same core sense of shame, guilt, resentment, obligation. Codependency 101, basically. If he can't stop drinking and start taking care of himself he doesn't stand a chance.
2. If you/he can, remove him from that environment ASAP. Could you/someone in his family house him for a month or two? It's really on him, but this is essential. If he can't block her number, see if he'll let you hold his phone for a month.
3. He needs exercise. Get him in the gym, offer to go on hikes, etc. Again, if you can--it'll probably be good for you, too.
4. Your friend is a massive Codependent. He probably doesn't know it. What was helpful for me was Rick Reynold's program at
https://www.reignitethefire.net/BPD-relationship-blueprint/. Might be the best $60 I ever spent, honestly. I went in thinking my BPDexgf was the problem and came out realizing I had issues of my own I needed to work on.
5. Get him to register at bpdfamily We all benefit from shared experience and strength in numbers. It's almost like free therapy.
6. Guided meditation. Plenty of videos on Youtube. Hugely helpful for processing your emotions and consciously directing your thoughts.
7. N-Acetyl L-Tyrosine supplements. An amino acid that's the precursor to dopamine production. Been shown in clinical studies to help with stress and depression--he is going through major dopamine withdrawals from his exgf and is using alcohol to cope. You can buy a 60 days supply for 12 bucks on Amazon.
All the best.
