Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
March 19, 2025, 12:55:07 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Books most popular with members
104
Stop Caretaking the
Borderline or the Narcassist
Stop Walking
on Eggshells
Journey from
Abandonment to Healing
The Search for Real Self
Unmasking Personality Disorders
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
> Topic:
STBX wants to be a parenting "TEAM"
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: STBX wants to be a parenting "TEAM" (Read 508 times)
Tansy
Offline
Posts: 23
STBX wants to be a parenting "TEAM"
«
on:
August 28, 2015, 09:37:44 PM »
I'm at a loss.
STBX moved out 8 months ago and has seen the kids (S17 and S13) for a total of less than 18 hours since, mostly because they didn't want to visit, but STBX didn't push too hard to see them, either.
Now the divorce has gotten to the point that the court has imposed a visitation schedule. The kids go separately for a few hours on Saturday afternoons. We are required to have a 15 minute phone conversation once a week.
Now STBX is pissed because "we have to parent as a team". We haven't parented as a team in more than 5 years, it was one of the biggest issues in our marriage. Also upset not to be part of the kids' everyday life. STBX just doesn't understand that in the past 8 months the kids have had a choice about who to have involved in their life, and they have exercised it.
And this just drags on... .
Logged
Turkish
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2014; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12182
Dad to my wolf pack
Re: STBX wants to be a parenting "TEAM"
«
Reply #1 on:
August 28, 2015, 11:57:57 PM »
So he only gets the kids a few hours per week, and a phone conversation, but you are responsible close to 100% for taking care of them. Yet it's a huge burden that he has to do... .anything like, communicate? He going Waif is understandably frustrating to say the least.
How are the kids handling it?
Logged
“For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
Tansy
Offline
Posts: 23
Re: STBX wants to be a parenting "TEAM"
«
Reply #2 on:
August 29, 2015, 11:13:56 AM »
Kids are angry and resentful, and don't want to visit or even talk on the phone.
I guess I wasn't clear in my first post. It was kind of a pointless rant. I am the one that finds the requirement to communicate difficult. Hearing things like "we have to parent as a team" from someone who has been completely out of the picture for so long makes me crazy.
There's a team, STBX just isn't on it. Me and the kids are doing just fine, better than before actually.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
> Topic:
STBX wants to be a parenting "TEAM"
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...