uBPD mom and enDad came over and saw my moving boxes...

[Our abuse recovery guide]

My husband is traveling for work this week to CA. Many of you know that age 36 and my hubby age 42, we are relocating to CA from Boston. I've been married for 13 years and have a 3 year old son. My parents have given me immense guilt about this even though it's great for my husband job wise and good for both of our health in terms of weather. My husband had a massive heart attack at age 40 and I have MS.

So my folks walk in and my dad immediately sees the moving boxes and says "your mom is so sad. She's been crying and crying." I'm like, um... How am I supposed to do this when you keep saying that? My mom says "if I can't even cry in front of you, I'm not coming over!" I mean, I get them being sad but for once, maybe think about me? Like this is a great opportunity and the climate is good for our health! But no... .Straight out, we are miserable. And what pissed me off was that my mom has been miserable even when I live close by! Every other day is a pity party and saying how others peoples daughters are like this and that and alllllll her friends raise their grandkids but them! Even when I'm here it's always a sob/victim story! Why cry now? I've always been my mom's punching bag. Keep decking me and when she feels like it stop and hug... It's always fine as long as I'm at her beck and call, right? Why would I always be her punching bag if I have the choice to not be? Just pisses me off that it's all sad when I am here and take their crap always, but again miserable when I'm leaving!

[MiserableDaughter]

My husband is traveling for work this week to CA. Many of you know that age 36 and my hubby age 42, we are relocating to CA from Boston. I've been married for 13 years and have a 3 year old son. My parents have given me immense guilt about this even though it's great for my husband job wise and good for both of our health in terms of weather. My husband had a massive heart attack at age 40 and I have MS.

So my folks walk in and my dad immediately sees the moving boxes and says "your mom is so sad. She's been crying and crying." I'm like, um... How am I supposed to do this when you keep saying that? My mom says "if I can't even cry in front of you, I'm not coming over!" I mean, I get them being sad but for once, maybe think about me? Like this is a great opportunity and the climate is good for our health! But no... .Straight out, we are miserable. And what pissed me off was that my mom has been miserable even when I live close by! Every other day is a pity party and saying how others peoples daughters are like this and that and alllllll her friends raise their grandkids but them! Even when I'm here it's always a sob/victim story! Why cry now? I've always been my mom's punching bag. Keep decking me and when she feels like it stop and hug... It's always fine as long as I'm at her beck and call, right? Why would I always be her punching bag if I have the choice to not be? Just pisses me off that it's all sad when I am here and take their crap always, but again miserable when I'm leaving!

[HappyChappy]

Those BPD are good. She doesn’t want to help you pack so she says that, which also acts as a trigger. Double wamy.

I have to say, having read a few of your posts now, I think Boston will do you the world of good. Cheers was filmed there and they’re a nice bunch. You’ve got the Armish just up the road if you need to hide from your BPD (I’ve seen Witness). Go for it, love it. I hope you’re moving to a house without a guest room – if not you can always convert it in to a holy water/garlic storage room. Wishing you find peace.  

[MiserableDaughter]

Lol I'm actually moving from Boston to San Francisco ! But the weather there is much more suitable health wise. My husband had s miserable time last winter with shortness of breath. He has heart damage after his heart attack and his arteries constrict in the winter so he has massive breathing issues... .My MS acts up in winter too... .

[HappyChappy]

Lol  San Francisco !

Well in that case, “Cheers” that was 30 years ago. San Fran does make more sense - Sea air, warm weather and big red bridge, what more do you need ? Can’t help noticing that you’ve gone as far away as possible without entering Mexico. When we left home, we all moved to the extremities of our country and then a few years later we were all abroad. Coincidence ? 

[MiserableDaughter]

Ugh. So my sister in law was telling me my mom was crying to her on phone and saying she felt like she was having a heart attack that I was leaving. Then why treat me like crap in the first place?

[Panda39]

Ugh. So my sister in law was telling me my mom was crying to her on phone and saying she felt like she was having a heart attack that I was leaving. Then why treat me like crap in the first place?

FOG! FOG! FOG!... .go to San Francisco for the real Fog... .don't buy this stuff.