The Human Trigger

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I wanted to know everyone's experience and thoughts on triggers. Most importantly, the Non manifesting into a "Human Trigger" over slip ups, stuff they did, stuff they didn't do, the imagined, poor communication etc.


You've been painted black and have  become untrustworthy in their eyes.


My question really is: Are there ways to reduce these triggers and perhaps not look/feel so dangerous to your pwBPD? Are there ways to slowly bring some trust back into things?


I have been trying to reconnect with my Long Distance Ex in some form and mentioned that I had befriended a girl (Not Romantic) and now I guess she thinks I'm messing around with another woman. In her view it goes against everything I said to her before about never leaving her, her being my soul mate and wanting a future with her etc. (Though I still do)

[Mistomaple]

I wanted to know everyone's experience and thoughts on triggers. Most importantly, the Non manifesting into a "Human Trigger" over slip ups, stuff they did, stuff they didn't do, the imagined, poor communication etc.


You've been painted black and have  become untrustworthy in their eyes.


My question really is: Are there ways to reduce these triggers and perhaps not look/feel so dangerous to your pwBPD? Are there ways to slowly bring some trust back into things?


I have been trying to reconnect with my Long Distance Ex in some form and mentioned that I had befriended a girl (Not Romantic) and now I guess she thinks I'm messing around with another woman. In her view it goes against everything I said to her before about never leaving her, her being my soul mate and wanting a future with her etc. (Though I still do)

[Lifewriter16]

I'd also like to know if there's anyway of avoiding being a trigger, because my experience seems to be telling me that the closer my BPDxbf and I became, the more I triggered him. It seems absolutely inevitable and completely hopeless - or is that the depression talking?

Lifewriter

[waverider]

Consistency, dont be dependent on them, nor encourage them to be dependent on you. The former creates a risk of failure in them, the later creates a feeling of not being good enough themselves. Both become threats and hence triggers.

Being reactive to triggers simply reinforces the issue as a trigger.

The trigger is not always in the present, it can be something from the past. Your presence, or anyone elses, are simply a link to the trigger to the issue which is a reflection of their current emotion.

eg they feel abandoned maybe for no real reason, they pull up a past memory of being abandoned to validate it, this involved you, so your presence is a trigger. Even though you are not aware this is actually about some current abandonment issue that has nothing to do with you.