My BPD had NPD. ... Controlling me and lying until she left

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Posted before but my fiancée left me and went no contact without explanation. The day before she loved me wanted to stop hurting me and fix us ... .the very next day loved me in the morning  had to choose to fix things or not  choose to say take me to church then NC for 3 day until her brother dropped the ring off [her text now you have closure]... .now we haven't talked and she moved on to a new completely different guy that was everything u don't want in a man... .he also has mental illness... .I'm pretty sure  my anger and hurt is gone thanks to this site... .she was sick an devalued me by Marginalizing my feelings and attacking thone things an people I loved ... .was this to isolate me for full emotional dependence... .she wouldn't stand up to her mother almost afraid to leave home... .she was 27 and had curfew... .the good times were amazing and blinded me so hard to the red flags, I thought therapy would help it only opened her up to more discomfort and anger ... .my question is could a girl who once seemed to to be perfect change into this drug doing self destructive person who runs away from the only one who let her be herself?

[StandingTall]

Posted before but my fiancée left me and went no contact without explanation. The day before she loved me wanted to stop hurting me and fix us ... .the very next day loved me in the morning  had to choose to fix things or not  choose to say take me to church then NC for 3 day until her brother dropped the ring off [her text now you have closure]... .now we haven't talked and she moved on to a new completely different guy that was everything u don't want in a man... .he also has mental illness... .I'm pretty sure  my anger and hurt is gone thanks to this site... .she was sick an devalued me by Marginalizing my feelings and attacking thone things an people I loved ... .was this to isolate me for full emotional dependence... .she wouldn't stand up to her mother almost afraid to leave home... .she was 27 and had curfew... .the good times were amazing and blinded me so hard to the red flags, I thought therapy would help it only opened her up to more discomfort and anger ... .my question is could a girl who once seemed to to be perfect change into this drug doing self destructive person who runs away from the only one who let her be herself?

[once removed]

hey standingtall 

i know its incredibly painful as well as confusing when a person we have loved and been so close to us treats us with cruelty, and then seems to change in front of our eyes  .

"my question is could a girl who once seemed to to be perfect change into this drug doing self destructive person who runs away from the only one who let her be herself?"

a diagnostic criteria of BPD is identity disturbance. long story short, a pwBPD lacks a stable sense of self. so to answer your question, yes. a pwBPD finds identity through attachment to another. sadly, if not obviously, this is unsustainable, but the dynamic will be replayed, time and time again, because a pwBPD desperately longs to be whole; we cant achieve that from another person.

hope this answers your question.