were getting divorced

[married21years]

thanks everyone flew back tuesday

she says she dosnt love me never thinks she can and we can never make it work

she no denies having BPD and is not doing homework for the therapist

i cannot continue and she will not get better if she is with me

therefore i have to leave and divorce and get on with my life

i am heart broken but i will survive and move on

thx everyone

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[sweetheart]

I'm really sorry that it has come to this for you both. 

[MaroonLiquid]

So sorry you are going through this.  I will pray for you. 

[married21years]

thx guys

[ptilda]

I'm sorry to hear this. I can only imagine how hard it must be to make that decision. I would like to tell you to hang in there just a bit longer, but even myself, I don't always know if I want to stay with all this.

What ever decision you make, you can know you made every effort to make it work.

[Cat Familiar]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I was married almost 20 years to my first husband and I know how difficult it is to unwind yourself from such a long term relationship.

However, once I did, it was tremendously freeing and I really enjoyed being without the drama and craziness.

So what did I do a few years later? I married another one with BPD, though this one is financially responsible and is a much nicer person and far more functional.

Good luck. Things will get better.  

[married21years]

thx everyone

the decision is made NC for the last 6 months and i have moved on

but she hasnt  i am painted black but she feels pain at the loss i have felt and delt with the pain.

i am moving on thx everyone