Feeling pretty crappy last few days

[Depression = 72% of members]

Ok posted here a few weeks ago

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=282437.0

I've been doing good with strict no contact for over month and a half and therapy 2x a week. When I think of the bad parts of our relationship it's definitely easier to forget her but as of late I've been thinking of all the good and start to miss her. To the point where I hope she contacts. This was our first break up. I've even thought of texting but don't know what to say . What's also bothering me is we have a mutual female friend who hasn't even reached out to see how I'm doing. I'm afraid maybe my ex lied and told her I was the problem. Right now I wake up just feeling empty. I have a hard time feeling happy . I kinda just want those good times back. Also her birthday is at the end of the month. Now there's the question do I break nc and text her . Just kinda lost right now need some advice.

[Bigmd]

Ok posted here a few weeks ago

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=282437.0

I've been doing good with strict no contact for over month and a half and therapy 2x a week. When I think of the bad parts of our relationship it's definitely easier to forget her but as of late I've been thinking of all the good and start to miss her. To the point where I hope she contacts. This was our first break up. I've even thought of texting but don't know what to say . What's also bothering me is we have a mutual female friend who hasn't even reached out to see how I'm doing. I'm afraid maybe my ex lied and told her I was the problem. Right now I wake up just feeling empty. I have a hard time feeling happy . I kinda just want those good times back. Also her birthday is at the end of the month. Now there's the question do I break nc and text her . Just kinda lost right now need some advice.

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[123Phoebe]

Hi Bigmd,

I get what you're saying with remembering the good times over the bad; it's an optimistic outlook, which I tend to have.  To me it leans toward a good thing; who needs all the negativity?  There is a balance though.  Things aren't all good or all bad, they just are.

Does it kinda feel like she's the one who will make you feel happy again?  That until she comes back around to wanting to be together, you can't really function properly?

I struggled with this, is why I ask.  And had to find that content place within myself, before anything significantly positive changed in my relationship.

Who are you?  What do you like to do?  What makes you feel perfectly content, even if in small doses?  Maybe building on those would be a good place to start?

Contact, no contact, text, don't know what to say; all of that sounds like not feeling real secure or grounded. 

Get your footing and the rest just might fall into place... .  One way or the other or in a totally different direction.

[Bigmd]

Phoebe thanks. Sometimes it feels like it is impossible to feel happy without her. Did your situation change?

[123Phoebe]

Phoebe thanks. Sometimes it feels like it is impossible to feel happy without her. Did your situation change?

It did and I believe it's because I want to feel good and happy, realizing that he doesn't hold that key.  I do.

Have you seen this? 1) Belief that this person holds the key to your happiness

[Bigmd]

Yes I have read it.

[123Phoebe]

Yes I have read it.

What are your thoughts?

[Bigmd]

That definitely sounds like what I did. Jus need it figure out how to be happy again. I do go to therapy.