does anyone else experience this

[jasonb]

Just curious does anyone else experience these:

1. S.o. tired all the time. Doesn't want to do anything unless pushed. also, not just being tired all the time , but also complaining about it.

2. Daily ailments. Everyday. throat hurts, foot hurts, headache, stomach ache,  you name it. something every single day.

And when she really is sick forget it. Acts like a BABY

3. Ignores my achievements. I won a significant national award at my occupation. I excitedly came home to report the news to her and she looked at me and said, "cool" so, today I did this and went on to tell me about her day. when I asked why don't you acknowledge my award? she exclaimed," it would give you a big head"... wow

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[Cloudy Days]

Yep on everything, except for maybe the achievements thing, but my achievements usually come with a bonus check and he's happy about that and would like to celebrate.

[UndauntedDad]

JasonB,

yup, I had all of those.  Esp. the accomplishment thing.  I got a special bonus direct from our CSO at my company, singled out, told my wife and she said, "well, make sure you don't let the CSO down!" 

Hmm.

Now I look back and I realize, my wife was constantly quite unhappy, tired from fighting her own demons, and thus, overwhelmed.  Not a lot of energy left, and none left for me.

Hang in there!

[ReclaimingMyLife]

Y E S !   

Constant tiredness, constant slew of ailments, both of which made him CONSTANTLY late and "unable" to let me know what was going on ("if I could answer the phone or call you to let you know, I would", constant need for help.

NO acknowledgment of my accomplishments whatsoever.  Just total ignore (most of which I shared via text) as he'd then keep on talking about the current crisis/want/need in his life. 

Like Cloudy Days, he did like it when I made money

[jasonb]

it's driving me nuts. I just want a girl to have some fun with. it just seems like we can't for some reason or another. and If you do manage to make it out. something will mysteriously "happen" like my back hurts, i'm tired, I just want to go home. I just want to have some fun is that so much to ask?

[UndauntedDad]

No, it is DEFINITELY not too much to ask, to be able to have fun with another person.

Actually, it's a requirement.

 

My recommendation (which I totally failed to follow in my own marriage) is to make sure you know how to have fun by yourself, and focus on that.  You can have fun with her there, or without her there, but try not to sacrifice your own happiness because she is so down.  You sound like a fun person, it is not your job to make her or anyone else happy.  Try to find your own happiness.  Maybe it will be contagious, and she will follow you on your path to your bliss. 

All I know is that for me, it was a mistake to bend myself into a pretzel, trying to make sure my wife was having fun, or satisfied.  In the end, it was destructive, and neither of us had fun!

[jasonb]

Man, that's great advice  and I will definitely try to heed it.

My problem with trying to have fun on my own is that I have absolutely no space at all. Ever. it's suffocating actually. Outside of work she wants to do anything and everything with me and it absolutely drives me nuts.

when I just take off and go out with my friends, she shows up where we hang out and I have to leave for fear of a scene. Or she will repeatedly text, messenger me to the point where I am entertaining here the entire time and friends understandably lose interest. I just thought this was somehow sorta normal behavior my goodness  I have a lot to learn.

i'm so glad I found this board.