about had it

[jasonb]

I have about had enough of my s.o's narcissist traits. She is a spoiled, self-centered brat that hasn't grown up and expects me to do everything.

-cook, clean, work, pay bills, go grocery shopping, my god it's draining.

-she wanted me to pay her speeding ticket. I told her to do it her damn self. she now has a warrant.

these people will never grow up will they?

I guess I should start preparing an exit strategy. do any of you more experienced individuals have any advice?

[Ceruleanblue]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It does sound exhausting. I guess I'm lucky that in some ways, my BPDh is responsible. He's still hugely narcissistic, but more in that it's all him, him, him. In fact, I think he'd find it emasculating if I did as much for him as you do for you wife, so maybe that's just a gender difference when it comes to narcissism.

It's good to have an exit strategy, even if you don't end up having to use it. Have you been feeling tired of all of it in general lately, or was this more just a bad day. I have some days where I don't know how I'll do it anymore, then things will get better for a bit.

Hang in there, and hope you get some good ideas. I just recently have been thinking of a back up plan, because BPDh is always threatening divorce. Heck, I should be the one wanting to leave, but it's actually him who always wants to throw in the towel. If that isn't a slap in the face. 

[jasonb]

Yeah i'm constantly tired. You just reach a point where you are exhausted. I remember this summer my S.O. went away for two days (yay space), and I literally just slept the entire two days. it's exhausting.

Make no mistake it's all about her her her too.

some strategies I have employed to simply deal with this until I garner the nerve to kick her out are

-work overtime

-stay a lot longer at the gym

-been reconnecting with old friends

-when she starts complaining I say "that sucks" and walk away. give least attention as possible

-try to communicate very little about myself. in fact nothing. she would just use it against me anyway

-don't ask her anything about herself or her day

-honestly I have cultivated an attitude of I don't give a **** anymore.

-I refuse to run around and do things for her.

-I have stopped going out of my way to give to her when I receive absolutely nothing in return.

-my anxiety has been replaced with anger and resentment. I hope this doesn't change my in the long term

-I don't modify my behavior because that's how she want is

-when she criticizes me I just laugh lahahahahahahahahaha and walk away

[jasonb]

also,

I stopped picking up after her

I stopped cleaning up after her

I stopped cooking

I stopped buying her things etc.

I don't care if the house looks like a home invasion robbery. I can deal with the complaining.

[Lifewriter16]

Hi jasonb

I'm wondering what is left of your relationship after all those adjustments (and I think the adjustments are good and healthy in the main). It sounds like you have already checked out emotionally, it's just your body that's left in the relationship. Is there anything that you still value? What keeps you there?

Lifewriter