Facebook: Remembering a search or my ex taking a peak at me

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

So I pop into my FB account today and one of the two "Friends I May Know" profiles is the ex. When we broke up, I remember searching for her on FB and her name came up then (about 4 months ago). Since then, I have not searched for her.

I am curious if this is just FB remembering that search or my ex taking a peak at me. Probably never really know. It would be nice to know that I still count

Interestingly enough, no picture in the profile picture box.

[WhatJustHappened?]

So I pop into my FB account today and one of the two "Friends I May Know" profiles is the ex. When we broke up, I remember searching for her on FB and her name came up then (about 4 months ago). Since then, I have not searched for her.

I am curious if this is just FB remembering that search or my ex taking a peak at me. Probably never really know. It would be nice to know that I still count

Interestingly enough, no picture in the profile picture box.

[Lou12]

I personally think your ex has been looking. I've become quite an expert at figuring out how Facebook 'ppl you may know works'

[WhatJustHappened?]

Lou12... .what makes you say that? Just curious.

[Suzn]

Facebook suggests friends of friends. So if you two have any mutual friends this can easily happen.

[WhatJustHappened?]

We have 0 mutual friends.

[Suzn]

We have 0 mutual friends.

Ah. Well I've read numerous ways Facebook makes a determination on who to suggest. Mutual friends is common. If you use your phone or laptop to access Facebook you gave them permission to have access to a lot of your private information when you signed up such as email, phone contacts, etc... .

You're right though, searching for someone is one of the ways I've read they use. It could have been you or her searching. Either way, you have control over who you send a friend request to or accept as a friend. 

[WhatJustHappened?]

Yes, that's true. Just being honest, it's sad that I was somewhat excited about the possibility. That's how this drug works

[myself]

If you need to, block her and she won't show up any more.

[shatra]

 Suzn wrote---

If you use your phone or laptop to access Facebook you gave them permission to have access to a lot of your private information when you signed up such as email, phone contacts, etc... .

-----You have to allow this on the facebook app on the phone. If  you don't allow them access, facebook does not have access to your contacts.  Then it would be a matter of the ex having searched for the non. I would find it odd if facebook held onto the previous search for the pwBPD from 4 months ago... .sounds more likely that the pwBPD searched for What justhappened recently and that's why the pwBPD shows up in Friends you may know

[SGraham]

Yeah she probably is. My ex lately shows up on the bar where you click to chat with your friends. I don't look at her page like ever amd the others listed are people who ive made contact with recently so im assuming she's there because she fb spies on me from time to time. Try not to pay it any mind though, it really isnt a good sign or a bad sign, its most likely just them checking to see if you've moved on or not. 

[Lou12]

I've been watching FB for 18 months WJH. I can tell when my BPD ex is looking at my profile and how often based on where he is on the list. It's a false profile he has as I have him blocked, and we have no mutual friends. Not sure how this applies if you do have mutual friends as this was not what I was ever looking at.

However I often check out what people are doing on FB every so often, it certainly does not mean I want to reconnect with them just more being nosey so don't get your hopes up to much! I will inbox you what I look for so as I don't appear to be too much of a freak on here haha!

[greenmonkey]

If you have no mutual friends and they come up even with access to your phone book or your phone  they have actually looked at your profile. I have been clearing down my people you may know list twice daily. The amount of fake accounts that have been created is scary. Also my account is on lockdown so it is not as if you can see anything apart from profile pic.

And also just to be clear me and my ex were never FB friends - ash she was scared that the truth would come out about the real person she was as opposed to the "mother of the year" "Life is so wonderful" "Woman of the year" that she portrayed.

She has also come up on my daughters FB and LinkedIn was the most recent - super creepy

[greenmonkey]

If you have no mutual friends and they come up even with access to your phone book or your phone  they have actually looked at your profile. I have been clearing down my people you may know list twice daily. The amount of fake accounts that have been created is scary. Also my account is on lockdown so it is not as if you can see anything apart from profile pic.

And also just to be clear me and my ex were never FB friends - ash she was scared that the truth would come out about the real person she was as opposed to the "mother of the year" "Life is so wonderful" "Woman of the year" that she portrayed.

She has also come up on my daughters FB and LinkedIn was the most recent - super creepy

Purely coincidental my daughter sent me a screenshot of her being top of the list and zero mutual friends - she cleared her list down last night and this appeared this morning - Lovely

[Skip]

Facebook has very elaborate data mining capabilities… they do the obvious (email contacts, friends of friends, Facebook searches), but they also do data mining like linking you to people that frequent the same restaurants. They collect and analyze massive amounts of data from their site and from the sites you use with Facebook log-in.

[greenmonkey]

Facebook has very elaborate data mining capabilities… they do the obvious (email contacts, friends of friends, Facebook searches), but they also do data mining like linking you to people that frequent the same restaurants. They collect and analyze massive amounts of data from their site and from the sites you use with Facebook log-in.

In this case, opposite ends of the country, no email exchanges, no mutual friends, certainly don't go to the same venues one is a student the other mid 40's so not the same demographic at all. The position of an individual on the list of people you may know also has significance as it is generally not just a random. LinkedIn is the same as well, though generally ties you to the same industry. In my daughters case sciences and has 7 connections only - and my ex appeared on her list there too - coincidence ?

[enlighten me]

Im not sure how it works but does it have to be you that has the contacts on a mobile app? If she is using a mobile app and has your contact details on her phone then would that form the link? I know when I got my new mobile and set up my fb and linked in it suggested my ex on linked in.

[greenmonkey]

Im not sure how it works but does it have to be you that has the contacts on a mobile app? If she is using a mobile app and has your contact details on her phone then would that form the link? I know when I got my new mobile and set up my fb and linked in it suggested my ex on linked in.

You need to allow access to the apps and your contacts.

In my case no app accesses my contacts, and my daughter does not have any of her contact details whatsoever. She has 7 contacts only all uni based and she appeared out of nowhere not even in the same industry, then for the umpteenth time on her fb, people you may know at the top of the list.

Everyone has their own beliefs etc, but it does not look good when my ex with no mutual friends appears at the top of the list of people you may know on FB 11 months later. Sends shivers down my spine.

[Lou12]

I'm not saying there are not any grey areas but I know for definite they appear if they have looked at your profile when their is not mutual friends and not much crossed connections. It's happened to me about 5 times aswell with other people who I've randomly met, give them absolutely no other details other than my name and where I'm from and they have popped up. Their is no other logical explanation in my cases.

[greenmonkey]

I'm not saying there are not any grey areas but I know for definite they appear if they have looked at your profile when their is not mutual friends and not much crossed connections. It's happened to me about 5 times aswell with other people who I've randomly met, give them absolutely no other details other than my name and where I'm from and they have popped up. Their is no other logical explanation in my cases.

I agree with you on that one - top of the list etc always the way. But totally in line with my ex throughout the last 11 months - oh well we had 5 days of radio silence - joy

[enlighten me]

Im still fb friend with my ex. Its funny but in the last few weeks she has dropped down the online list at the side.

I don't peek her account and only see her posts.

I guess that it means she probably isn't peeking my account now.

Ive also had her ex bf and his friends appear on my people you may know. I don't know if its because they have peeked me or just the fact their friends with my ex.

[shatra]

Skip----Facebook can only do the mining re: restaurants and towns if you log into webistes via facebook log in.  Also, as has been written, facebook can only access the email or phone contacts to form links, if the person has allowed facebook to do this on the facebook mobile app.

Enlighten me wrote---

Ive also had her ex bf and his friends appear on my people you may know. I don't know if its because they have peeked me or just the fact their friends with my ex.

-----Her ex bf and friends would only show up on your page (if they hadn't looked at your page) if they are mutual friends with your ex---but most people have a few hundred mutual friends---why out of all the people, would her ex and his friends show up, out of all the mutual friends? Sounds more like they looked at your profile

[shatra]

Suzn wrote---

If you use your phone or laptop to access Facebook you gave them permission to have access to a lot of your private information when you signed up such as email, phone contacts, etc...

---You need to give facebook access to your contacts and email, ewtc. Also, I think if you use your phone and just log in to facebook and then your account (i.e.---instead of using a facebook phone app)  then facebook can't access your contacts---is this correct?

ANother indicator is to go to the search bar on top of the facebook page---type in the first initial of the person's name and see if they show up or not. I'm not sure how accurate this is though

[shatra]

Greenmonkey wrote---

If you have no mutual friends and they come up even with access to your phone book or your phone  they have actually looked at your profile. I have been clearing down my people you may know list twice daily

-----was this a typo? did you mean even without access to your phone they have looked at your profile?

   Or did you mean (as written) that even if facebook has access to your phone contacts, it still means the pwBPD has looked at your profile... .I am thinking the latter is correct, even if the pwBPD has your contact info on their phone and even if they give facebook permission to access contact, the person still looked at your profile. Otherwise it would be quite a coincidence that out of the (possibly hundreds of) contacts on the phone, facebook randomly selected the pwBPD!

[greenmonkey]

Greenmonkey wrote---

If you have no mutual friends and they come up even with access to your phone book or your phone  they have actually looked at your profile. I have been clearing down my people you may know list twice daily

-----was this a typo? did you mean even without access to your phone they have looked at your profile?

   Or did you mean (as written) that even if facebook has access to your phone contacts, it still means the pwBPD has looked at your profile... .I am thinking the latter is correct, even if the pwBPD has your contact info on their phone and even if they give facebook permission to access contact, the person still looked at your profile. Otherwise it would be quite a coincidence that out of the (possibly hundreds of) contacts on the phone, facebook randomly selected the pwBPD!

yep a typo there - sorry . My FB has no access to my contacts neither does LinkedIn. My daughter has no contact info for my ex, never communicated via email or any means within the last year. She was at the top of the list, zero mutual friends etc etc.