we are back working on things...

[McGahee21]

so i bought her a new car, and we are talking but she was still trying to use me... .her gma actually just died and lied and said she needed money to bury her, obvioulsy it was jsut for drugs and to party... .

we recently had a huge fight, my friend covertly tricked her into " hanging out" and he told me everything she said.  she even tried to seduce him... .

fast forward a week and she sent me a pic of some old stamps her gma sent her and said shes tired of the fighting... .  we even shared a laugh when her ex gf tried to hmu.  is this normal with BPD women? the constant back and forth?

also, when i am emotionally unavailable, she is more attracted to me... .?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[McGahee21]

I do love her, and it is what it is. i realize she is sick, and therefor needs help in all facets of life.  how can i possibly turn it around and make it like it was in the beginning? how can i get some control of her?  do i just pull back evertime she gets out of line? 

she literally lies about everything, even things that dont matter or where she wouldnt even have to lie.  her identity is contingent on who she is around?  what can i do to fix this, if possible? how do i get her to repsect me after letting her walk all over me in the past?

i bought her a brand new ford focus... .she dont take care of it, its full of trash and food, clothes etc

[McGahee21]

she just recently slashed my tires when i wouldnt give her money, so i went to the new car and took 80 bucks from her.  shes ignoring me now... .

[McGahee21]

also when she doesnt get her way, she makes up lies that i tried to rape her, but then the next day or week acts like nothing happened or that she just called me an ass... .

is this normal for BPD?

[McGahee21]

i need help fixing this and getting her under control, its crazy right now and she is going nuts

[LilMe]

The problems you describe are pretty typical for a pwBPD. I am sorry you must deal with it.

You will never get the person back that she was at the beginning. They somehow have the ability to become everything that we want and need to hook us. I was mourning this right before I read your post.

They do push and pull on us emotionally! It is very stressful and painful.

The Lessons on the right side of this page help a lot. They explain how and why these behaviors happen and strategies to minimize conflict. They really do work! Please take some time to read them, try a few of the suggestions, and read more. It takes time and practice but things can be better. Keep reading and asking questions here. It is an amazing community of kind people who really want to help.

[McGahee21]

shes being all super nice today for some reason... .random... .