something I have noticed

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

my narcissistic fiancé has managed to isolate me from my support system. However, she has managed to surround me with people that are on "her side'. Even my friends before our relationship seem to be on "her side" through triangulation. any advice on this?

[jasonb]

my narcissistic fiancé has managed to isolate me from my support system. However, she has managed to surround me with people that are on "her side'. Even my friends before our relationship seem to be on "her side" through triangulation. any advice on this?

[Ceruleanblue]

Yes, boundaries. You need to nip this in the bud before it gets any worse. Actively pursue your old support system, and set a boundary around that. Try not to let her triangulate them too. I think they do this due to their insecurity, and their need for control. My BPDh has sort of done this, and my own mother and sister in law(his side), hate to even call me when he's around. That is pretty sad, but I know why it is. They think it will set him off, and sometimes it has.

I should have set a boundary around that much, much sooner, because now I'm paying the price.

[OnceConfused]

if your friend (i mean YOUR) sides with her, then are they really your friend? I would get away from those "FRIENDS", and find my real friends - people whom I can be comfortable with, whom I can share things, and with whom I don't have to PRETEND.

You need to spend time separately with those friends, without your fiance presence. If she huffs and puffs, then simply set your boundary, by letting her know , "I prefer to have some guy time with those friends, is that OK with you?. If she says NO, then ask "can you share with me your feeling as to why , as a adult, I cannot have my time with my friends?".

[Lucky Jim]

Hey jasonb, Agree w/Cerulean and OnceConfused: don't allow yourself to become isolated from your support system, because you will lose all perspective.  One of the primary techniques of interrogation and/or brainwashing is to isolate the person.  I should know, because I let my BPDxW isolate me and it can lead to a loss of self, which is not fun, believe me.  Suggest you Get out in front of this issue now by setting firm boundaries.

LuckyJim