I feel as soon as I get close I take two steps back.

[alwaysloving]

This is something I've been dealing with a pwBPD as she told me shes afraid to let me get close because I might hurt her... she would not explain in detail... it hurts so bad because I'm not doing anything wrong I haven't hinted at running away... I'm not sure if she feels her issue is going to have me running away... I'm not sure if shes ever going to let me in? She will hold my hand no problem, kiss me or say I love you in my ear but shes scared to let me get close... for 6 months it's been pretty rough not going to lie, I was told not to tell her I would always be here for her. But really I don't know how to go about it next... I feel as soon as I get close I take two steps back.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[patientandclear]

Who told you not to tell her you'd always be there (which I don't disagree with--not sure that is ever a good idea): was that her who gave that guidance?

[alwaysloving]

Who told you not to tell her you'd always be there (which I don't disagree with--not sure that is ever a good idea): was that her who gave that guidance?

It was on another site... but we just met up this past Friday and we talked and I tried to avoid bringing it up but I told her I was reading and I made sure I told her first I was not judging her... I told her about BPD and she asked me to send the link to her when I got home... now I on purpose did not send it just to see if she would remember or not and sure enough she sent me a link to a site she was reading and she seemed to agree it fits she was not upset at all, if anything she seemed to like I took the effort to read up on it.