You'd think she's let it go now

[Yaffle]

We were out with friends on Saturday night when my uBPD GF started showing one friend pictures of my ex on facebook and saying how fat she'd got etc.  I asked her why she was doing that and she started ranting about how I'd been in contact with her and showed the friends copies of messages she has on her phone.  All of the group basically concluded that I'd not really done anything in-appropriate.  I didn't actually see what messages she showed them but guess its mx ex wishing me happy birthday and possibly one where she offered me somewhere to stay when I walked out briefly a couple of years ago.  I declined that and she now lives away.  GF threatened to leave but eventually calmed down a bit after a few of the group had spoken to her.

The following day she apologised to the friends and made a joke about the way she'd behaved but I don't recall her apologising to me at all.  Then this morning she brought it up again but this time it included a bit where I've been saying bad things about her to the friends and because of that they couldn't see that I'd done anything wrong.

Bah!

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[juniorswailing]

One thing I'm learning is that they never let it go.

It might get spoken about, you might think it's been discussed and dealt with but it will come back at some point.

[Chilibean13]

I'm always surprised at how long they can hold on to things, especially since my uBPDh can't even remember what I told him just a few hours or days before.

My H has been talking about how I got black olives on a pizza and that means I don't care about him. This was over 5 years ago.

[Climbmountains91]

Ooh gawd yes!

My ex came down to my folks once two years ago and my teenage brother didn't say 'hello' to him which was rude of my brother but he's at that awkward age, i can't force the guy but wow he still goes on about it. Get over it, jeez!

He thinks that i'm obsessed with him. ok so i was a bit crazy about him a year ago but i wasn't obsessive to the point of on his door step, ringing him up all day 24/7, texting him all the while, no, he asked me the other day ''why are you so obsessed with me'' i was like  ''dude, i have more important things to do than think, text you and look at your profile all day''. Your ego must be through the rough right now, we hardly talk, its a joke.

Obviously still not over his ex cheating on him, which i don't think no one is but its stopping him from the point of living, his just surviving

He cant accept that he has flaws and has done some pretty crap stuff to.

Violins out, my life is so dramatic and sad! !

[Yaffle]

And she's still going on this morning.  Subject has changed but she obviously feels bad about something - could be the issue from the other night still.  10.30 last night she came downstairs and started on at me about money and that has basically re-started again as soon as she got up.  Just feeling a little bit stressed as I'm not having any time to relax

[waverider]

Is it really about your ex? Or is she simply insecure and trying to provoke you into providing reassurances, and this is simply an easy go to trigger.

How do you react to it? Often a reaction especially a defensive denial feeds the claims.

[Yaffle]

I'm not really sure what it is that's troubling her at the moment.  There always seems to be something different every few days and its been going on for months.  I think this morning and last nights outbursts are due to her feeling bad about how she ended up looking on the night out when everyone backed me but I'd like to know the underlying issue at the moment too.

My usual reaction is to ask her why she's bringing this sort of thing up now when we've been over it before and it all happened ages ago and then to say that I'm ending the conversation now.  If she carries on, I leave the room.  I've been walking away for a few months now but she still hasn't got used to it and will follow me everywhere, still in a rage.