Hi MrsMunky85,
I'm glad you found us. Being in an abusive relationship is, by it's very nature, confusing as hell.
You mentioned physical abuse. That's a concern. Do you feel that things are safe now?. Since there is a tremendous amount of information on this site I found this link that I thought might be helpful for you. When you are ready click on the green type
TOOLS: Domestic Violence Against WomenHere on the Staying Board there are tools and skills that you can learn here that will help to reduce the conflict in highly charged emotionally situations.
On the Undecided board, you can find workshops that will help to walk through the steps of determining a path forward
This is a safe and anonymous place to share and obtain support. We understand because many of us have been in your shoes.
How did you determine your significant other might have BPD? Was he diagnosed? Tell us a little more about your situation.
'ducks