Hell on wheels..checking back in...

[dumpsterdog]

If you have read my other posts... you know the hell i am going through... i do not want to rehash it now... .but yesterday , i thought there was a thaw in the ice,, and " vixen " texted me this... .

" for some reason I do Love you "... .

which made my day, I was bouncing around with new life thinking she had finally come to her senses and was admitting that she did love me after all. I had visions of returning home to her, taking care of normal activities as a team , like paying bills, and planing things to do with the house ... etc... .I really thought she had figured it out.

then, a few hours later , I received a long email describing how I had abused her, my family had not reached out enough to help her ( she has callled my mom every name in the book and said she hope my mom dies,, and that she hates my mom for every having me ... and wonders why they are a bit cold towards her )... .anyway... her email went on to say " It's done "... .Her favorite high on the throne verdict ... .and when I called her she begins crying and hung up the phone again... .once again leaving me crushed... she is BPD, scorpio, and going through menopause... How can I get through to her... .I told her that at some point I am going to stop trying any more ... thinking that might jolt some sense into her...

any thoughts...

yes, i should run like hell... .but soemhom i just cant... at least not just yet.

talk to me people.


Dumpsterdog

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Daniell85]

Well i am a scorpio.  

Run?

Aside from that, obviously having BPD, she is prone to disregulation. Probably continuing to focus on keeping your own self even keeled is always going to give you a better result than allowing her see sawing emotions and what she says as a result, send you very far in any direction.

[babyducks]

hi dumpsterdog,

there are no quick answers,  no rapid fire fixes, no single set of words that will change her mind or get you where you want to be.

Daniell85 is 100% correct, if she is BPD she will disregulate.   It's the nature of the illness.   You can't cure it,  you can't control it.   Trying to find the right button to push to get her to stop feeling extreme emotional swings is counter productive.   

What you can do is what Daniell85 mentioned, focus on keeping yourself centered and stable.

'ducks