The temporary trial goes before a judge here. What is a magistrate? Sorry for the ignorance.
A magistrate is a type of judge -- usually someone with less authority or reach, more likely to hear minor offenses or pre-trial type of hearings.
So your process is different than where I live. In my state, temporary orders were supposed to be dealt with in mediation first. Some states have mandatory mediation, others have sort-of mandatory mediation, like mine. I don't know if one is any better than the other.
There is always room to negotiate, even if there isn't a lot of money. For example, getting the debts squared away will be an important issue. Getting your name off the lease, etc. Make sure you know who is responsible for what debt, and then any debt that you are both responsible for, negotiate (initially) that he pays for it, knowing that if you become responsible for it, that means it will get paid and not wreck your credit. Then, if you owe him any money, pay down the debt out of that money. I hope that makes sense. Don't be hard on yourself if all of this seems daunting and confusing -- it is daunting and confusing, and on top of it, you're going through a divorce. I found it hard to decide whether to brush my teeth first before showering or wait until after The flooding stress and emotions will pass eventually. This initial stage is hard for everyone.
Be prepared for him to ask for 50/50 or more, even if you know it's absurd. Lawyers will encourage him to ask for this. And he will be told that it means no child support if it's 50/50. I think it's called Expanded Standard Possession Schedule where you are. Since you moved out of the marital home, be resolute about your concerns with safety. You'll be tempted to downplay the safety concerns if you're like a lot of us (we can get numb). I mentioned in my case that I had serious concerns about my son being witness to escalating verbal abuse and instability in the home. My ex tended to throw things and punch walls -- he never hit me. This is all still abuse. Some of us downplay abuse and categorize it -- hitting with hands is abuse, everything else is not, for example. In court, if you are scared for your safety, and don't want your kids to be exposed to abuse, that's important to say.
Thank you so much for your help! It is so nice to have somewhere to go to ask questions... . The lawyers act like I did something wrong by leaving the home, but staying there was setting myself up for being harassed, and setting my kids up to watch it. Knowing he has escalated in the past I was NOT sure that I was safe physically there, and certainly not emotionally. He made it really clear that "he had a right to come there anytime he wanted to" since he was on the lease and there were no orders or anything.
I am pretty sure it is a judge doing the trial, but I guess I will need to ask the lawyer. She hasn't mentioned anything about mediation before then. If it is required, I don't know about it. I would be glad to try to work something out before the temporary orders, but I don't think he is willing to do much / if any "working things out". I think the debt is going to be fairly straight forward, but there is more debt in my name than his, there really isn't much joint anything. The only real joint accounts we have are the cars. That will be obvious how to split.
Right now I currently have the kids on my health insurance. Is it a good idea to keep it that way next year, or should I request that he take over having him on his insurance, especially if I end up with more debt? I don't trust that he would pay any debt assigned to him in my name. I think I would rather take on all the debt in my name, and have him make up for it in some other way (like paying insurance). Any input on this? Thanks again!
