New Here

[MoreGuilt]

I'm new here, but been surfing around and cannot believe that there are others who have gone through what I have.  Wow.  I have been the rescuer and confidant for my uBPDm and unpdd forever and scapegoat for my 2 brothers and sister because I "always" set my mom off.  My dad has been crossing lines of propriety on the phone lately and on a much more frequent basis so I decided to stop talking to him alone on the phone because it's really started creeping me out.  He suffers from chronic oversharing.  I'm 43, married and have 2 boys ages 15 an 16. We live 3 hours away from my parents.  I was diagnosed with persistent asthma last year.  My doctor told me I have always had asthma, but when left untreated can lead to it becoming persistent.  I remember as a kid, my mom saying that asthma comes from having an overprotective mother.  My dad's brother had asthma and everything my dad's side of the family did or thought was wrong according to my mom.  So thanks mom, for the persistent asthma, too. When I moved out at 18 and saw my own doctor for the first time with bronchitis, as I often got as a kid, I was asked if I had asthma.  Of course I couldn't have asthma, my mom was the polar opposite of overprotective!  I did tell my mom I had asthma last year and that the dust from the chickens she keeps in her basement   aggravates my condition, but if I stay upstairs I'll be OK.  So we went for Thanksgiving and since we live 3 hours away, I needed to use the bathroom.  They told me to go downstairs!  Where the chickens live!  Seriously!  They put up a sign! This is what it took for my dh of 25 years to agree to me staying away from them.   Thanks for reading 

[Turkish]

Hello MoreGuilt!

I can relate to both the odd beliefs, and also the animal worship (I can't really think of anything other than to call it that, at least colloquially... .clinically, there's probably some attachment issues there).

It sounds like you've done what you needed to do to keep your self healthy and safe, and it's good that your husband is supporting you.

I can probably make and educated guess on what your dad is talking about to you. Weird and creepy. So both parents have made you into a confidante? Does the following feel familiar to you?

https://bpdfamily.com/content/was-part-your-childhood-deprived-emotional-incest

Turkish

[MoreGuilt]

Hi Turkish!

Yes, that link does sound familiar.  I think I escaped with just the guilt, thankfully.  My dad confides in me often, my mom- only when the mood is right. She confided in me a lot more when I lived at home. She would pack us up to leave my dad and I kept hoping they would get divorced and that I could either live with my dad- the lesser of 2 evils- or that some out of state relative would miraculously swoop in and save me.  No luck. They are still together.  I still wish they would divorce.  That is my advice to them because they still fight all the time.  My dad says they won't divorce because the are Christians and that would be against the Bible. 

I told my dad I thought the chickens could be aggravating his health conditions and he said that he can't bring up the chickens to my mom because they are "special to her".  How ironic  to call it animal worship since she is so crazy religious! That's good, I like it