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Author Topic: Christmas peace list  (Read 519 times)
Scarlet Phoenix
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Together 9 years
Posts: 1155



« on: December 17, 2015, 02:52:44 PM »

Christmas, as any holiday and celebration, can be a challenge when living with a pwBPD. At my house, too. (For those who don't know me, I've been living with my dBPDh for 5 years).

I was thinking about this today, what kind of actions I can take - for me - to have a relatively peaceful Christmas. It's not about "maneuvering" my husband to do whatever. It's about actions that I find beneficial for me.

And then I thought it would be nice to share with each other here, to give each other a helping hand.

So here's my input. Feel free to add to it!

1) Put on music when we're at home. dBPDh is uncomfortable with his own thoughts and feelings, and I've seen that he's a lot more relaxed with some nice music on. And I enjoy music playing, so that's a win-win.

2) Offer him massages (neck, head, back, hands ... .non-sexual). It's a bonding experience, he relaxes and talks and I enjoy the relaxed talking and the little moment of closeness. So good for us both.

3) Watch a Christmas movie I enjoy  Smiling (click to insert in post) Right now I'm watching "Grumpy old women do Christmas"  Being cool (click to insert in post)
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~~ The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; who strives valiantly; who errs; who comes short again and again ... and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly ~~ Become who you are ~~
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This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
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« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2015, 04:11:24 PM »

Bake. Baking makes the house smell good and comforting.

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Scarlet Phoenix
Retired Staff
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Together 9 years
Posts: 1155



« Reply #2 on: December 17, 2015, 05:45:36 PM »

Ah, that's true. Love the smell of baking! It's very comforting.

So 4) Bake. It's comforting for the soul.

I thought of one more:

5) Lower my expectations for what I can accomplish at Christmas! I'm a recovering perfectionist 
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~~ The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; who strives valiantly; who errs; who comes short again and again ... and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly ~~ Become who you are ~~
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