Help Identifying "Queen" Type Borderlines

[ZeusRLX]

I have a long history with waifs and screen those out pretty easily as of late.

The last one I was involved with though was very different and since she didn't seem like a Waif, I assumed everything was fine.

However, as I found out after reading Borderline Mother, she was a Queen... .very manipulative and wealth oriented.

She didn't seem as helpless as Waifs but she was extremely controlling, jealous, expected constant financial and emotional favors.

Any other tips on identifying the Queen type Borderline?

I know a few Witch types and I never was attracted to those (thank God) but I don't think I've ever encountered a Hermit type borderline. Has anyone been with one? Any tips on identifying them.

Thanks, hope everyone is well this holiday season.

[Turkish]

It sounds like you already have your answer. If you've read Lawson's book, you know that her fairy tale types can overlap or exist within each other. Though BPD doesn't always manifest itself in a neglectful or narcissistic family (meaning that inborn traits manifest themselves in otherwise healthy families), I've found it helpful to perform a thought experiment: how would a neglected child act as an adult? For me, ":)o I want to engage in such a r/s?"

[Learning_curve74]

On a different level, what do you want in a relationship and in a relationship partner? People can act in unhealthy ways without having BPD. Do you feel as if you are only worthy of a "fixer upper" as a partner?