I think She might already be diagnosed with BPD or She at least seems to acknowledge some traits.
Since we have been dating She said things like:
I am very sencitive
I do not handlle stress wel
I don't like to fight
I need a lot of attention
I need someone possitive in my life
At that time i did not think further on it
Now I wonder was She trying to guide me?
Davy,
When I was dating my wife (now separated), she would tell me things like this. Of course if you break down most of these statements, they really aren't that absurd for a normal person to say. I am also sensitive. I find that I am also nice when I receive attention. Of course I do not handle stress well, who does? And I always seem to get a long better with positive people rather than negative people. I'm not discounting what she's saying, but it's easy to take those things as having the same meaning as a normal person.
For example, while dating, she would tell me how she doesn't like it when people lie to her. At first my reaction was, "That sounds very normal, I don't like that either." But what I didn't understand was that she meant that when she is lied to, it will trigger her into becoming manic/depressed and angry and that comes mostly from the splitting (or so I have determined from my experience with her). That is, one time I lied to her and since then she has interpreted everything I do and say as if I am lying. My sister contacted her and tried to talk to her about our marriage issues (not the wisest thing for my sister to do etc... .) and my wife came to me claiming that I was telling my sister and my entire family lies about her.
One of the behavior traits that I've come to recognize is that most of these "triggers" are inserted into the relationship by her as ways to keep distance when she is afraid and at the same time to not have to feel guilty when "overreacting" to small issues. For example, my wife would get stressed frequently and sometimes she would have outbursts of anger directed towards me while she was stressed. She would justify her actions by reminding me: "You know I don't handle stress well" implying that I caused the stress and thus deserving of her anger.
Keep in mind that these are my own experiences and yours may differ significantly. That being said, I do believe these "I am this way... ." statements are a cry for help from the BP. I think it's so vague because we have a certain expectation for normalcy from people and this is not a normal way to seek help. A normal way would be to say "I struggle with anger when I am stressed." or "I crave attention so much that it is often unhealthy." These types of "normal" statements imply that their struggle is wrong and their intention in telling you is to help you cope and maybe even help you to help them.
It is tempting to assume this is what the BP is saying. However, reading in between the lines may help you understand where the BP is coming from, but ultimately the statement of such triggers is not out of a desire for change, proper coping mechanisms, or an admission of guilt. Rather, I think many of these phrases are an attempt by the BP to create an identity for themselves. So where we see reacting negatively to stress a bad thing (though both normal and BP may struggle in this way), the BP may see it as a good thing since they believe it is ALL (or the ONLY thing) they CAN (or are ABLE to) do. Again, just my opinion based on my own experience.