I love her and want to help her

[Seamy616]

My story is that I started going out with her wen she was 18 and it was good really good but I ended it because of her attention seeking... .10 months later we meet again and I rejected her nd she cut herself she retailiated by cutting herself and sleeping with my best friend... ! We meet again 5 years later and we talked and it resumed as if nothing had happened... ! Her sexual promiscuity had Interested me thought out the three year on/off relationship in which I was always wrong and her answer was always to end the relationship after a in which in periods ranging from 1week to three months staying together for three weeks to three months in between but I would have to take the blame and responsibility for everything... ! When together I was patios aboutmy weight if I weighted myself nd everything I did was how it made her look... ! It's now 7 weeks since last encounter in which she hit me nd left but the following day I had her house keys she wanted to talk buying wouldn't let her coz I was mad she had hit me first time ever nd I did call her a spastic to my friend and it was her birthday dick move I know I apologised and said I deserved a slap thru text after she refused to talk to me when I calmed down wen she did answer she belittled me for everything except that... ! She is def a BPD or npd not sure but she has now called the police to warn me of my attempt to pursue her... ! She would always come back wen I didn't case her aswell but I love her and I really did think I was in the wrong this time... ! Is it time I gave up or could she still come back to charm me like she has done before

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Turkish]

Hello Seamy616,

Her behaviors are certainly confusing,.here and there. She slapped you,.and has contacted law enforement regarding you trying to contact her. Have you heard anything from the authorities? What's going on now?

T

[Seamy616]

Am nothing I have made no attempt to contact her and I think she has a new boyfriend the authorities just said stop coz she told them it made her feel uncomfortable but would not like it to go any further... She is with someone else but this has happened before nd wen she was done with him she came back... .!

[Seamy616]

She had also changed her phone number to stop be contacting her to play da victim I assume... ?

[Turkish]

She had also changed her phone number to stop be contacting her to play da victim I assume... ?

Whatever the case, her feelings are her facts. Even if the facts don't reflect reality, her feelings are real.

It sucks to be left without answers, frustrating beyond belief. Word of caution: if the authorities are involved, take it seriously. We've had members here end up in trouble with the law in situations like this.

What's going in now? Do you know anything more, if even by proxy?

[Seamy616]

No nothing there no contact but a friend told me she is dating a new guy... .This happened before but when she finished with the last guy she came back to me but this time she has painted me blacker then anyone ever... .

[Turkish]

No nothing there no contact but a friend told me she is dating a new guy... .This happened before but when she finished with the last guy she came back to me but this time she has painted me blacker then anyone ever... .

What's the difference this time?

[Seamy616]

Her actually phoning the authorities all her previous ex are still friends on fb whereas I seem to be painted as a qshyositic dick... .She has a child from a previous 2 year on off relationship but I dnt think he'd take her back but other then dat I feel she would have gone back to him... .! Is it possible I could be painted white again even tho I have no way of contacting her... .The last time she contacted me with a text after about 3 months... .

[Turkish]

Based upon the history here, it's likely that she may contact you. The domestic violence she committed against you is a new factor to consider. If I had to guess, she may feel shame about striking you, so she's painting you as the abuser.

What will you do if she contacts you?

[Seamy616]

Obviously I will talk to her because I do love her... ! I'm reading a lot now on BPD and am fully aware of the life I would be leading myself into... ! She is really a wonderful girl who genuinely enjoys a lot of the same things I do... ! On occasion she would mention she felt f up and how she she taut she had some illness but this would lead me to believe that she is help able... ! Would my best option to be just do nothing... ?

[Turkish]

Obviously I will talk to her because I do love her... ! I'm reading a lot now on BPD and am fully aware of the life I would be leading myself into... ! She is really a wonderful girl who genuinely enjoys a lot of the same things I do... ! On occasion she would mention she felt f up and how she she taut she had some illness but this would lead me to believe that she is help able... ! Would my best option to be just do nothing... ?

Loving her and wanting to talk or even get back together is one thing; your feelings are true.

The situation, however, due to getting law enforcement involved, may indeed be that though you want to do something, you may not be able to. The next step on her side might result in you getting a protective order served on you.

Whatever is going on in her head, she's in flight/self-protection mode, at least for now. Getting the authorities involved is a pretty clear boundary, with negative consequences for you.

It can be confusing,.perhaps, when our people with BPD voice signs of needing help, or saying that they know they have major issues. We can certainly support them if they choose to startdown the path of healing. Right mow, she's indicating the opposite, at least to you, implicitly.

[Seamy616]

I'm aware of the law enforcement thing and coz of it am not willing to try anything... ! However the fact she came back before leads me to believe she will again... ! The last time I waz banished it took her 3 months to come around... Although law enforcement wasn't involved then it could happen again but is it much more unlikely as she can easily continue with me being the abuser... !